emotions, jack gilinsky

31

amara rahman

the diner wasn't very busy, giving me some free time to work on some school stuff i'd been behind on.

i caught derek's multiple glances, "what do you want, derek?"

"uh, have you talked to cj recently?"

"i don't care about him."

"..right." he murmurs. "i'm sorry."

i raise an eyebrow at him, "why are you sorry?"

"i don't know..gloria kind of ruined your guys' little relationship."

"we were never going to work out, anyway."

"you're the girl, aren't you?" he asks, and i nervously chew on my lip.

"what?"

"the girl in that video cj spread around in the summer."

i stare down at my notebook, feeling my heart pound. derek sighs, "you guys did a good job at making it not obvious. why, though?"

"because he's an idiot." i smile sarcastically. "and he has no heart..at all."

he raises his eyebrows in surprise, "wow, tell me something i don't know."

"i don't want to talk about it." i mutter, stacking up my books and placing them in my bag.

"jack was wondering why you were at practice the other day." he hums, "and it was clear it wasn't for cj, he practically whined about it to his stupid friends for 20 minutes in the locker room."

"..what'd he say?"

"he had the entire locker room saying shit about you." he admits. "me and the guys stayed quiet, though, if it makes you feel better."

"great." i sigh, "i'm gonna go."

"alright..see you, amara."

"yeah."

+

curiously, i click on the twitter icon. twitter was our school's way of communication, more than any other social media app.

my timeline had been full of people i'd been following, and i knew i wouldn't find much there. though, i scrolled down a bit, reading a few tweets about random things.

my eyes find a video, whose thumbnail showed a group of boys in the locker room, with cj standing in the middle like some sort of leader.

my breathing hitches as i slowly go to click on the video, but immediately turned my phone off when i heard a knock on my door.

i readjust myself on my bed, sitting up and shifting my attention to my door, "uh, come in."

my mom peeks her head in, and flashes me a small smile. "hi, amara."

"hi." i smile back politely at her, and she stands there for a few moments before coming in and sitting at the edge of my bed.

"how have you been?"

"i'm fine." i feel my voice give up mid-sentence and chew on my lip, and my mom gives me a concerned look.

"javi told me..about cj."

my eyes widen and i clench my jaw in anger, "i told him not to tell anybody—"

"okay, okay." she interrupts, "actually, i overheard him telling a friend on the phone. i just didn't think you'd like me telling you that, either."

"why is he telling his friends?" i mumble angrily.

"is that why you wanted him fired? because he was mean to you?"