emotions, jack gilinsky

45

amara rahman

"enjoy." i send the family a fake smile, placing the last plate down and heading back towards the kitchen. but before i could get inside, a familiar face enters the diner.

"hey." jack greets, sitting himself down on a stool and leaning over the counter.

i attempt to suppress my smile, turning my back towards him as i fill a cup of coffee. "hi."

"so, gloria got suspended." he tells me, and my eyes widen as i turn to face him. he grins at my happy expression, before it slightly drops. "and uh, cj got expelled."

"what?" i ask, my heart beginning to pound. "are you serious?"

he nods, "yeah."

"oh my god." i murmur, "i feel terrible."

"why? isn't he the one that released the video in the first place?"

"i thought he was," i admit. "i don't know.." i trail off, thinking about the day i threatened to get him expelled myself. it didn't feel real, and i couldn't help but wonder how he'd been feeling at this moment.

"i'm sorry." he mutters awkwardly, before sitting up and clearing his throat.

i noticed his hood resting on top of his hair, "you look like you're hiding."

"i am." he chuckles. "from your mom."

i raise my eyebrows, "no shit? why?"

"i uh, kind of made a scene at your house the other day." he pauses, letting out another awkward laugh. "can we go somewhere?"

the pounding in my heart started up again, "um, where?"

"well, i was actually wondering if you could tutor me for an hour—" of course, why else would we hangout?

"oh!" i accidentally interrupt him, my cheeks slightly heating. "i mean, yeah, sure."

i felt stupid for interrupting him, although he didn't bother to finish his sentence. "when is your shift over?"

"in about twenty minutes."

"cool." he smiles weakly at me, and i return it. things seemed tense between us, and i couldn't figure out why. or maybe it was just me, overthinking every little thing as usual.

twenty minutes passed in a breeze, and jack ended up leaving ten minutes before because my mother had arrived. though a minute later, he texted me that he was waiting in his car.

"mom," i begin, trying to figure out an excuse. "i know you don't want me to go anywhere, but bri needs my help with math."

"no, she doesn't." she replies blankly. "and you are not going anywhere."

my chest tightens, and i let out a subtle sigh. "i—come on, mom. i don't even see the point in grounding me."

i follow her into her small office in the back, where she drops her papers and glares at me. "oh, really? you don't see the point, amara? you made a sex tape. you are seventeen."

i stay quiet after that. she was never going to let it go, and i should've known that. "okay, so how long are you going to keep me grounded?"

"as long as i want."

i stand in her doorway, playing with the hem of my sweater. "what about when javi's video came out, when he was in high school?"

she scoffs at me, pulling me inside the office and closing the door behind me. "why do you always compare yourself to javi?"