Miss Him. Miss Him Not.

Chapter 3

I can't believe it... I'm sitting on my bed, listening to mum cry her eyes out in her bedroom, Jonny's downstairs on the sofa crying alone and as for Sarah, none of us know where she's gone. Out somewhere. Dads probably off in a new home, enjoying his life, not regretting a thing, apart from living with us in the first place!
I can't believe him! Why would he just get up and leave so suddenly? If him and mum had been rowing constantly I would understand, but there's been no sign indicating a break up. It was out of the blue! 
I wonder if our family will ever recover from this...

There's a knock at the door. I wonder who that could be. Probably Laura, wondering what happened and wanting me to fill her in on the details. I get up of my backside, understandingly knowing that nobody else in the house will, considering recent events. I nearly fall down the stairs so when I open the door very quickly I nearly fall into George. 
"Hi. Ermm... is this a bad time, it's just that Laura told me that something was going down and came to tell me not to come back here. But are you okay?" I step outside, pulling the door up behind me so George and I can talk outside without everyone hearing our conversation. 
"Hi. Yeah... errr... it's just that dad left earlier so everyone's kinda in a funny mood - not funny haha..."
"Oh... is your mum okay?"
"Yeah... I suppose... if hibernating in your room crying listening to James Blunt counts as okay... then she's perfectly fine!" I'm always sarcastic in serious situations, it makes me feel better about it all.
"Oh... well do you want me to go 'cause its obvious this isn't a very good time. Or I can come back later if you need me, or I can stay, its up to you!" 
"George! Calm down!" I can hear the nerves and discomfort in his tone." I don't want to be rude but you're right... this isn't a very good time. I'll call you if I need you, yeah?!"
George nods and pulls in me into a hug. 
"Hope everything's okay. I'm always around if you need me, just call." George then makes me promise to call him if I need anything. I oblige and I watch as he walks slowly down the driveway, turning to wave as he turns the corner and walks off down the road. 
As i stagger back into this black hole I call home, I can feel the betrail in the air. Will this feeling of emptiness ever leave?

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I don't know how I feel right now. I don't know whether to be angry at dad or sad that he's gone. Or even extatic that he left! What would a normal person feel like? Well I'm not exactly normal, with my sticky out hair, buck teeth and weird obsessions of collecting abnormal things and listening to music that isn't what you'd call recent.

Anyway, getting off topic, how am I supposed to feel about all this?!
I'll text Laura and George to see what they think. I pick up my iPhone and start typing.

Me: Hey guys x u know my dad left the other day, I don't know where he is or anything but I don't know how i should be feeling or thinking about all of it!!! I'm really confused! What do u think??

Laura: hey sam x if I were u I would h8 his guts! Its a gd thing he's gone, if he wasnt happy there, or if ur family wernt happy then its gd tht he left!

me: that's the thing! We were all perfectly happy as far I know...

george: I kinda agree with Laura, but if u were all fine thts weird. I guess different people have different reactions in these situations, u just have to wait and find out what your feeling. I know it sounds weird, but sometimes you don't have a reaction straight away. I mean, put it this way, if you c him, would you run over to him and hug him? Or make a scene tht woudln't exactly be funny in his pov?

me: IDK! I'll have to wait and find out. I guess ur right... never thought I would say that!! :P thanks guys xx cya xx

Laura: np x bi x

George: cya (:

Okay! That helped. (Note the sarcasm) So, what? I have to wait until I see him so i know what my reaction is? But what if I don't know what to do when if and when I see him?! 
WHY IS EVERYTHING SO CONFUSING?

I guess things havn't been great around here since he left, and I kind of miss him. But I still can't forgive him for leaving us and at moment I am SOO mad at him! HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO US?!

Will I always feel this way about him? Or will I cool down and eventually forgive him? No! Impossible! I promise myself that I will not forgive him! If I do, not saying i will, i promise to pour a jug of custard down my pants, while wearing a tutu, and do 10,000,000 star jumps in town... yes, while EVERYONE can see me! That's how certain I am not to forgive him!

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Hey! Sorry for the long wait still trying to come up with ideas and stuff! But it's FINALLY THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS!!! Hope you guys are having a great time!!
DFTBA x