harry hears loud screams coming from his neighbours house, he goes over to see if everything is alright and what he sees is not what he expects
five am. it's five fucking am and that weirdly beautiful idiot, simon bloody minter, next door has woken me up yet again. i roll over in my bed, letting out a groan before i pull my covers over my body tighter in an effort to fall back asleep.
the second i close my eyes i hear a loud scream followed by what sounds like the sound of something smashing, glass maybe? then there's a beautiful silence, but it only lasts a few seconds before there's more screeching and commotion.
"fuck you minter." i grumble as i roll out of bed, grabbing the nearest jogging bottoms on the floor and throwing them on, not bothering to get a shirt. i also don't bother to get shoes and march shirtless and barefooted in my tired state to simon's front door.
whatever the heck is going on in his house right now sounds wild. there's screaming and all sorts of weird noises. what if someone's broken in? what if he's hurt? what if there's a crazy ass murderer?
i think for a moment about all the possible scenarios and then decide to just waltz into his house. i swear to god if there's some sort of axe wielding psychopath and they kill me, i'm going to haunt simon minter.
i follow the sounds to the kitchen and stop in the doorway, instantly laughing at the sight in front of me. simon's practically running around his kitchen, screaming, yelling and swatting at some birds. some fucking pigeons.
the longer i watch the harder i laugh, it's gotten to the point where i'm struggling to breathe. i know i shouldn't laugh, i should probably help him, but the birds are shitting everywhere and he's just panicking and it's just funny.
"harry. don't laugh at me." he whines, finally noticing me standing in the doorway. this only causes me to laugh even more as one of the birds land on his head. he screams, jumping up and hitting at his head repeatedly, even after the bird is gone.
"how the heck did all these birds get here?" i managed to get out despite the laughing. there's tears welling up in my eyes and i'm pretty sure my face has gone red.
"i... i don't know. help me harry! please! don't just stand there and laugh at me!" he practically begs. i walk into the kitchen, being careful of where i stand as the floor has a selection of broken glass, bird shit and whatever else simon's managed to throw everywhere. it looks like cereals, lucky charms maybe?
as i stand there trying to figure out how exactly i'm supposed to help simon get all these birds out of his house i feel something wet and warm land on my chest and slowly start moving down. my eyes lock with simon's and he almost drops to the floor with laughter. i look down at my chest, already knowing what hit me. bird shit.
"simon. get it off me. now." i snap, it's his fault. he's such an idiot. he just stands there, laughing. laughing at me? no. not happening. the idiot hasn't even opened his patio doors to try and get the birds out. what is his problem?
i march over the french doors, yanking them open and start shooing the birds out. eventually they leave and finally simon and i stop, our breathing heavy. i take a look at the state of his kitchen, i've never seen it look this bad. but then i realise, there's still shit on my chest.
"simon minter if you do not get this off my chest right now i swear i will fight you!" i yelled at him, trying my best to keep a straight face. he laughed, reaching and grabbing a tea towel before running it under the sofa and squirting some soap on it.
he rubbed the cloth against my chest, my face instantly heating up as he got close to me. he smirked down at me after he noticed my blush, this making my face burn even more. when he was done he got a clean part of the cloth and did it again to 'make sure' but i know he just loved making me so goddamn nervous.
"i'm going home. to shower and then go back to sleep." i grumbled, turning to leave.
"i mean you could always stay here?"
ugh i don't know what this was i tried to be like funny or some shit idek
