being nearly dead

An alternative

Ava looked between his eyes for an answer when he had gone silent. He looked off into the woods and his eyes went glassy, he was pale. He seemed in another world entirely.

"Silas?"

He looked up at her. "Hm?"

"You said I could get my memories back...?"

"Yes, an alternative, but it requires a lot... I'll have to gather the ingredients," he scoffed, "I haven't done this in quite some time," he shook his head.

"Nix said you were a necromancer? But you aren't anymore?"

"No, I was rather put in my place." She raised a brow. "The Elders don't appreciate dark magic as an Angel of Death. It's seen as filthy and is shunned."

"So, why did you do it in the first place?"

"I was already shunned, what more could I lose?" he shrugged.

Ava found him interesting. As she spoke to him she found out more but at the same time felt like she knew him less, like he was a distant star she was trying to reach. She took a slow breath as he did and they looked out at the forest.

"Did you know, Silas means: Man of the Forest?" She shook her head. "In our childhood, Nix always said he'd picked it out when mother was expecting me, but he was a late developing one-year-old," he shrugged lightly. "He says he pointed to the forest and mother told him a name that meant it and he put a hand on her pregnant belly... That was his story anyway. He named Cara and Luna and Felix as well... All in our own ways..."

"That's sweet..." she smiled.

"A fairy-tale always is," he looked away. He pepped himself up again and faced her. "Feeling better? Ready to go back inside?"

She nodded so he walked with her to the front door.
***
Cara sat with Felix on the couch as he blew smoke onto the ceiling. She watched him as he closed his eyes and blew out rings for her amusement. He looked back down at her and frowned.

"You used to love that..." he commented as he brought the cigarette back to his lips.

She shrugged and leaned back. "When I was nine maybe."

"You're such a drag..." Felix muttered and let the smoke fall out his mouth lazily. His next bout came out his nostrils.

They saw Ava and Silas walk in through the archway. He said something in a hushed tone and leaned in close to kiss her cheek, he squeezed her arm and walked back toward the dining room. Ava lingered, watching him then rushed up the stairs.

"Oh God..." Felix mumbled and drew in from the cigarette.

"This is gonna be fun," Cara grinned and sat up straight, finally interest peaked.

"Don't be a bitch," Felix snapped at her, "Nix isn't going to like this..."

Cara glanced at him, her smile stuck in place. "No, but I will."
***
She opened the door to see Nix waiting for her at the edge of the bed. Arms crossed and eyes guarded. He didn't look happy. She hesitated by the door and closed it behind her.

"I'm sorry I ran out like that... I didn't mean to cause a scene, I just," she looked down and swallowed hard, "I was overwhelmed."

He nodded and took a breath. "What did he say to you?" he ignored what she said.

She narrowed her eyes. "That's your question?" she stepped forward.

He stood now and let his arms fall to his sides. "What did he say to you?" he repeated, slightly slower this time.

She scoffed. "You really hate him, don't you?"

"What did he say to you?" he echoed. It was all he could think. All he could imagine was her being manipulated by him, being told lies and fairy-tales to turn her against him. He clenched his jaw when he thought of- no he had to stop himself.

"Is that all you care about? Not that I felt like I was going to explode? Or that I wanted to bash my head against the side of the house?" she shook her head.

He stepped closer and grabbed her upper arms. "What did he say to you?" he raised his voice with wild eyes. He was losing it but he didn't realise how hard he was holding her.

"Let me go..." she told him slowly.

"What... did he say to you...?" he couldn't breathe.

She gritted her teeth to stop her jaw from shaking. "Piss off."

He looked between her eyes shortly, then down at his hands around her arms. He realised what he was doing, he was hurting her. He never wanted to do that. He got lost. He let her go and quickly walked out the room, shutting the door too loudly behind him.

She didn't look down at the white hand marks turning red. She finally let the tear fall. She wouldn't let him see her cry. No one would see her cry, not really. She half-crawled to the bed and lay down, pulling her legs against herself.

***

He almost broke down the door. He was angry and he wanted him to know it. He'd hurt her and it was because of him. Only he could blind him with such rage, it made him sick.

Silas looked up from the work he was doing at his desk. He recognised the anger in his brother's eyes. It was a look that he imprinted in his mind so he'd never forget. It looked a lot like their father's angry face. "Is there something you want?" he looked down again to feign composure, his heart was beating too quickly in expectation.

Nix walked over to him with heavy steps. He immediately balled the front of his shirt in his fist and picked him up, throwing him against the book shelf behind him, pushing him hard against it. He could see the fear he was hiding behind his eyes. "What did you say to her?" he pressed.

Silas was focusing all his energy on keeping his face calm. He didn't want to show weakness, especially not in front of his big brother. The one who said he'd protect him. "Nothing untrue..." he swallowed hard. "You believe me unredeemable... when she asked why you hate me."

"What did you tell her?"

"I didn't tell her anything. I didn't tell her why, of course, I didn't..." he widened his eyes fractionally as Nix's hold tightened against his chest. He could see how much he wanted to shatter his head against the books, to spill his blood across the floor and never look back. He knew that look, but he never expected it to come from his brother.

"Don't lie to me."

"You know I can't... You know Luna put a hex on me. I cannot lie to any of my blood. Not even to myself," his eyes were betraying him, they were flashing with fear and he could feel it. He hated himself. He hated that he couldn't hide himself properly anymore. Not without the power they took away from him. He felt tears coming on, not yet.

"That doesn't mean you can't lie to Ava."

"What reason would I have? Why would I want to lie to either of you?" he felt his chest caving under his brother's strength. "I didn't come to you, or to her. You came here. You needed me... my sanctuary."

Nix looked away. He felt himself getting sick. He didn't want to look at him anymore. He threw him back and let him go. He scoffed and walked out the study, out the house and stood on the steps with a deep irritation festering in his chest. He looked beside him and saw the last thing he needed.

Grace.