I Need You«jiminXyou»

7

Jimin p.o.v

I had again a bad moment. That's how I called them,because they were bad. Very bad. They made me felt  like I  was  useless,like I was a nothing. I tried my best to ignore them but it was too hard to face them.I  had also moments when I  wanted to end my life  and I  was very close to managed it. I  cut my arms very often and I  tried to stop eating because it was a waste of money and food. I slept all day,and I  was like a zombi. I  didn't know why I  had this. What was  the cause or something like this. My mom send me to a psychologist. She gave me some medicines and I could tell she thought I was crazy. I saw it on her face. I took them but it didn't help. I was the same bored jimin,the same jimin who wanted to kill himself. Maybe it was the stress,the stress that I won't go to collage that I won't find a girl who could  love me and understand me.. it was like the universe didn't have a future for me. it was like neither it care about you. I didn't have somene to talk the only person I needed wasn't here. I needed you y/n so fucking much. You werefar away from me. It was crappy because you were in a different country and the time zone was the same. I missed you very much,i wanted to stay and talk with you. I  knew you were  the only person who understood me and who could feel what I  felt. I wanted to hug you and to cry because you  would be there to wipe away my tears,to kiss my cheek and to say that everthing will be okay;that you would suport me and you  would help me. You would do anything and everthing to see me happy and okay. And  I  would do the same for you. I  loved you so much but like a coward I  was I didn't have enough courage to told you what I  felt for you . That  I  loved you  so much and  I  would do anything and everthing to make you happy and to felt lovely.  I would be a great boyfriend and we would be a amazing couple.  I would make you  laugh because your laugh was the most beautiful noise I  had ever heard.  I would make you very happy,doing what couples  usually do:cuddling and watching movies,hug you by back every time,hug you while you sleep,kiss you  very pasionately and deeply like it was no tomorrow,surprise you by buying couple rings...my mom would love you so much! I would treat you  very good.  I would be also jealos if a guy looked too much to you. I would be jealos because  I  loved you so much and I didn't want to lose you . If I  had lost you I  would be totally broken and I  wouldn't live without you. You made me feel so happy and she was the MAIN REASON for why I kept living my messy life. Because I hoped that in one day, we would meet again and then I wouldn't lose you again. I  didn't care if you would reject me. I was very confided and I  thoughht;'why would you  reject a hot handsome guy like me?'  I meant,I didn't meet a girl who wasn't looking at me like she would eat me. Every  girl liked me. But you weren't like the other girls,you were special and that was why  I  was so interested by you.  You were different and I liked to try different things. And now,when you lived next door to me,I felt like I was the happiest man in the whole world. You couldn't image how happy and how I felt. Every time I saw you at window,even you didn't notice me,I was looking at you and I could tell you were the most gorgeous girl I ever saw! You were extremely gorgeous,even sometime you couldn't accept it.
Every time I was with you,my heart beated so fast than I thought it would jump from my chest. And I was going to tell you what I felt for you. But they ruined all. Again,they came and made me felt like a nothing. I didn't drink alcohol but then,it was like the bottle of alcohol called me to drank it. And another one came and another one....untill I drank too much bottles of alcohol. I was so drunk and I didn't know why I called you. But I was happy to saw how fast you came! And I told you. But you didn't trust me. Of course you didn't,I was drunk. But I was going to try again.

I won't give up so easily,y/n!