saving andy // rookie blue

chapter two

He told Oliver that he would try to sleep. He needed sleep desperately, but he couldn't- not when he knew she was out there scared and alone.

She had been gone for two days now, and Sam hardly new what to do with himself. He hoped, and he prayed that she were okay, that they were okay. Frank had sent Sam home that night to at least try to get some rest. Oliver went with him. He knew Sam needed somebody. Sam wouldn't admit it, but he really didn't want to be alone. It was just understood between the two.

Instead of sleeping that night, Sam tossed and turned.  He looked at the digital alarm clock on his night stand. The bright red letters read 1:57 am.

Sam could hear the tv from the living room. He finally got out of bed. He opened his door and walked down the hallway. The hardwood floor creaked at each step.

Sam reached the end of the hallway. He turned to his right to face the white bedroom door. He slowly turned the knob and stepped in.

The walls were a light gray. Little white picture frames were neatly hung. The crib was a simple white with dark gray cover on the mattress and a yellow accented pillow. He walked across the dark gray and white striped rug. Sam slid his hand across the side of the white crib as he walked by. He looked at the picture on the wall above the changing table. It was a drawing of a police badge in a white frame. Baby was written across the top of the badge, and Swarek was written across the bottom. The year 2018 was written in the middle.

Sam walked to the window and pulled the gray and white chevron curtains. He watched the rain drops race down the outside glass. Lighting lit up the sky. He leaned up against the window and continued to stare blankly.  Andy was out there alone with someone. She was probably terrified. She was about to have a baby, and he wasn't there to be by her side or to hold her hand when she needed him the most. He desperately tried to push the what ifs out, but those horrible thoughts continued to cross his mind.

He managed to lose those thoughts for a brief minute, but in that minute, he reflected on how perfect life had been the last few months.
They were happy back in their little bubble. They were able figured it out and understand their relationship without people at Fifteen in their business. It was what they needed. They were finally happy, but their happiness was abruptly ripped away from two sick and cruel people. The thoughts returned, and Sam did not know if he would ever see Andy and their kid again.

He had been crying since he walked by the crib. It was a silent cry, and only tears ran down his cheeks. He wanted scream and to throw things. He was hurting, and he wanted to lash out.

"Brother, we're gonna find McNally, and we're gonna bring them home," Oliver said quietly. He was stood in the doorway and walked in.

"You don't know that," Sam continued to look out of the window. He lowered his head, and looked at the carpet. His fist rested against the wall. "What if I never see her again? What if I never even get to meet this baby? They're my family, Ollie."

"I don't know that, but Sammy, you and I both know that Andy is a fighter. She's going to fight before she lets anything happen to her or that baby."

Sam walked over to the rocking chair and sat down. He leaned forward and rested his arms on his legs. He held his head in his hands. He once again wiped tears from his eyes. He didn't want anyone to see him like this.

Sam Swarek was tough. He couldn't recall of the last time he had ever cried, yet he assumed it was a time in his childhood. As he kid, he vowed he would never become vulnerable and appear weak. He wanted to be tough for his mom and Sarah. Sam never would have thought that the doe-eyed rookie who blew his cover would become the love of his life. Crying was a foreign concept to him.