Time To Waste

Chapter 18: Congratulations

A/N: There are some slight references to the past in this chapter that might be triggering and/or simply upsetting for some. Please be warned! (Wow, I feel like an asshole even writing that . . . )

Jenna had continued to feel like shit for the past few days, but the truth was she no longer really knew if she was actually physically sick or if there was a serious psychological component to her illness. After her conversation with Ryan, her world had tilted off its axis and began to spin counter-clockwise. Undoubtedly as a consequence of it all, she had grown short-tempered and annoyed with her boyfriend, and he was quickly catching on that he was not exactly her favorite person at the moment. There had been some muffled grunts and several grumbled cuss words, but he had given her space, thus far, and simply chocked her behavior up to 'that time of the month.' Or so she had believed, anyway.

When he had finally sat her down in the living room and cradled her hands tenderly in his much larger ones, his expression was a blend of exhaustion and anxiety that had concerned her immediately. "Babe, we need to talk. I'm leaving for tour soon, and....We just need to talk about some things."

In that moment, Jenna's heart stopped. She hadn't even paused to consider until now the possibility that he was going to dump her. She had been acting deplorable towards him since Ryan's visit, had completely locked Chris out of her world for the past few days. And, as she really thought about it, she realized that no matter what anyone said, no matter how emo she became, she loved him. She loved every single little quirk of his personality, every freckle on his body - including that adorable birthmark above his right ear - and she did not want to consider the possibility of a life without him. Even if she had to occasionally lock him from the bedroom and lose herself in her heavy emotions, even if she would never fully understand what happened on that awful night, she loved Christopher Thomas Cerulli with all the blood in her broken, black heart.

She smiled into the warmth of his beautiful eyes with her sudden epiphany weighing heavily in her heart. "What's wrong, baby?" She leaned across the table, leaned toward his touch and his warmth. She was so endlessly happy with him that she couldn't even begin to express the joy she felt waking up each morning. Even when some shit was ugly, and she didn't fully know what lay ahead.

He cleared his throat, and then he sighed. "You haven't been feeling well for the past few weeks." He paused and glanced down at their intertwined hands, her skin was so naked against his colorful hands. "I'm worried about you and I can't leave you like this."

Jenna shrugged. "It's just a stomach flu that's lingering," she dismissed his concern quickly. "I'll be fine, babe. And once I bounce back, I can drive out and see you on my days off."

He sat up straighter, bowed his head in thought and chewed his pierced bottom lip. "Jen, the night that you were drugged..." his voice trailed off into silence. She urged him onward by clutching his hand tighter and offering him a reassuring smile. He cleared his throat and carried on. "Rick and I didn't use protection. We thought you were fully aware of what you were doing, and you begged me to come inside of you."

She tried to process what he was telling her, but his words seemed to swirl through her brain in a foggy haze. "What?" she stammered. That night, that night only seemed to continue to haunt her life and jump out at every corner, every turn. When would it end?