- Just A Touch - [A Simon x Markus Story]

- Chapter 4: Unidentifiable Feelings -

"Hey... I deserved that. Saying that Simon might be dead was not the best thing to say out loud..." "I do everything for a reason, North," I said. North then said in a quiet voice: "By the way, what was the deal with you holding Simon's hand the other night?" I froze. "I... I don't know. It was a reflex. I absolutely don't know why I did that." I'm lying. I did that for a reason. And, I know exactly why.

When I saw Simon laying in that bed, I felt something sharp in my chest. It hurt a lot. I thought that maybe if I went near him, it would stop. Wrong. I kept crying. I kept... hurting. Maybe expressing my feelings would work? It made it worse. I was crying way more. It was horrible. Then, my hand just reached out for Simon's hand. I... don't know what I was doing. I pulled away for a moment but I figured it had something to do with the feelings I contained. 

At first, I was scared. Scared I would wake him up. But when I touched his hand, I felt... comfort. His hand was as warm as the heating blanket I used to give Carl when it was cold outside. It was as warm as the walls of the barrels I have lit up for my people. It was soothing. The pain faded away... So I wondered if... Just if I stay like that, will it disappear? So I held his hand very, very tight. It felt amazing. It felt like butterflies were surrounding me! It felt like the walls were coloring themselves pink...! It felt like flowers of all sorts were growing on the concrete floor. It felt like animals grew out of the floor and started dancing all together. All in all, it was amazing. So I sat there in silence, indulging myself in all the positive aura.

I wonder what I felt. I wonder what emotion grew upon me...I just wonder. At first, it was sadness. I was sad because of Simon's previous state, sad because he was injured. Sad that I might've never seen him again. Then, fear took over. I was scared that Simon could be gone... Could be deactivated. But then, I felt happy. When I heard that Simon was okay, I felt very happy. I felt relieved. But then, I hurt. Why? I don't understand. When I touched Simon on the other hand, it felt like everything was ok again. It felt like he wasn't injured anymore. It felt like my people were free! It felt like Carl was okay. It felt like all my problems were solved. But it wasn't happiness. It was something else. But what? I wish I knew. I just wish-

"So, what are you in love with him or something?" said North, interrupting my thoughts.

Love? Love... What if... What if I felt...

Love?

{I'm very sorry for the short chapter but I couldn't think of a way to extend it. Thank you for reading anyhow!}