after-wards

1 peek-a-boo!

"Hey! I'm here- it's me Kelsea I'm fourteen, but think of myself as fifte-" she glares at the mirror.

"Hello, I'm Kelsea I'm fifteen and I love my long hair and-... I'm fucked up." her reflection starts laughing.
She lets out what is suppoused to sound like a yelp, Kelsea quickly starts rubbing her eyes blinking rapidly.

~~~~~~~~~~
Oh it was just my imagination again. I think to myself.

Hi there, I'm Kelsea I'm fifteen, I love my long hair I halucinate welcome to the day in the life of me. A quick peek into my crazy... messed up mind. My hobbies are cutting myself and crying. I love friends and family, but hate talking to them.

so let's play a little peek-a-boo.

~~~~~~~~~~
She scoffs at herself looking down at the at the marble white basin clutching it tightly that her knuckles turn white.

"Stop speaking, sounding like an idiot, no one can hear you, stop speaking!" Kelsea screams-whispers at herself as if to make her subconscious shut up.

She looks up into the mirror scanning the person in front of her. Her long hair, messy draping behind her shoulders, her eyes teary and red almost as if the person in front of her is about to cry.
She snaps out of her gaze almost as if being brung out of hypnosis. Kelsea takes a deep rapid breath in, looking down at her hands clutching the boold stained basin.

"Well... better clean up this blood, not forgetting your gorgeously painted arms." "...and you, the amazing little paint brush." Kelsea's eyes fall on the razor with which she cut herslef with.
She looks up one more time and rolls her eyes at herself in the mirror.

~~~~~~~~~~
I open the tap and splash water all over the basin to get rid of the blood

"Crap." I hiss pouring water over my wrist with one hand.

Why did you do this...?, idioit. Mentally rolling my eyes at myself I honestly have no more energy left to even roll my eyes, that's a first.

Oh yeah genius! You thought it would help 'escape the real world'.
Well to be honest it does. My other subconscious chimes.
C'on this physical pain helps you forget the emotional pain.The never ending pain, that stings that you don't know how to get rid of or how to handle.
I scoff at myslef.

I look up into the mirror as slowly as imaginable with my wrist now under the tap and start to slowly speak to my refelection.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I ask myself with knitted brows.
"What sane- What sane person talks to themself like that? A full on conversation with themself... Uh-hmm." tsk.

Well it does. the good 'ol subconscious sings.
I give myself a fake smile in the mirror.

Finally stoping the bleeding, I wash my face hoping not to run into anyone and them noticing a hint of anything that took place here.
I head to my bedroom a damn dream, for a normal person. If only.