Intertwined

Corinne

“Do you have a joint or a beer or fucking anything?” Ryland asked me shortly after he sat down in an old parking lot next to me and my friends for lunch. Something had to be wrong because he’s not usually the type to go back to class baked, but I rolled him one without questioning, not now.

“Thanks Corinne” he said.

“Yeah, no problem” I stifled giving him a light.

Occasionally I’d hangout with his friends and he’d hangout with mine, we’ve known each other for longer than I can remember. I probably met half of my friends at parties I tailed him to while our moms had “girls nights” getting drunk and gossiping, old friends. We haven’t talked in a while though, just the occasional “hey” in hallways, and I’m entirely fine with that. I don’t need to associate with people similar to me anymore, my rich friends who don’t care about anything except having fun is more than enough for me. 

Dylan took a hit and passed it to me, then just as i began to inhale he asked, “Where has Jude been? Normally you take off with him or he awkwardly sits here with us like a fuckboy and I regret to feel that I miss his presence” I coughed and didn’t finish what I was doing. Oh yeah, Jude. I’ve been avoiding him since I had a dispute with his bitch sister that I pray he hasn’t heard about. I’ve taken the bus to and from school and left lunch before he could find me the last two days. I just shook my head and rolled my eyes before turning my attention to a new topic of conversation.

“Wheres that India or whatever girl you’ve been hanging around who’s Summer’s sister” I asked Ryland turning towards him, and an irritation crossed his face. 

“Indie,” He corrected me, “and probably with Trey or some shit like that” after hearing his tone we all sat in silence. 

By the time we were leaving Ryland had finished the majority of a joint and two beers. I followed him to his truck and took the keys, “you’re not driving dumb ass” I told him and he got in the car and curled putting his feet on the dash. “What the hell?” I asked him, in all the time I had known him he had always treated cars like babies.

 “Sorry it must be a habit I picked up, she drives me crazy” he said putting his feet down.

But I knew that wasn’t the issue, “Whats wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing” He retorted.

“Ryland” I insisted.

“He needs money” he said biting his lip ring and I could hear his breath and it sounded angry and sad and like someone at the funeral of the person who cheated on their spouse with them, like they just wanted to be loved and they wanted the world for them, and full of sadness for never getting what they truly wanted from them, and guilt for not being the person they wanted scrambled eggs and new years eves with. 

“Why the absolute fuck do you let him call you?” I asked anger filling my voice, his mom didn’t talk to the asshole, why should he?

“Corinne he’s my dad” he said. 

“All he does is call you when he needs money or some other shit, take your moms advice for once and don’t answer his calls.” He looked hurt, I shouldn’t have said that.

“Tell me that if your dad tried to call you you wouldn’t answer” Then it was my turn to be hurt.

“Well he doesn’t fucking call me because he doesn’t give a fuck about my existence, but at least he doesn’t use me as a personal loan giver. Except wait, he’ll never pay back those loans even if one day he does give you money the interest you’ll always be wanting will be a childhood with a god damn dad and I can’t say I don’t feel the same way but I’m not going to try to get it back by giving my father money even if he did try to get it, don’t be an idiot Ry.” I snapped at him. 

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When we got to the school I gave him two ibuprofen and my water bottle, hopefully he wouldn’t be at all buzzed by the time class started again. Or if he was he could have the brain to skip one class and go back when he could walk straight and be less of an idiot. 

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After the hell of my afternoon classes pondering that question of answering if my dad called I began walking to the busses, then Jude stopped me, he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and I spun around.

“Where have you been?” He asked.

“Sorry I’ve had a lot of homework so I just started taking the bus so you wouldn’t have to drive me if we couldn’t hangout or anything” I fibbed. 

“Babe I don’t mind driving you I haven’t seen you since a couple days ago,” He said grabbing my hand “come on I’m driving you.” 

Once we were at his car I pulled out the first CD I found in my bag, Contra- Vampire Weekend, and started playing it. He immediately saw through my attempt to avoid conversation and turned it down. He talked and I nodded and mumbled agreeing with whatever he was talking about. At my house he pulled into the driveway, stopped the car and got out. 

When we were in my  house, which he followed me into I sat down, threw my bag on the floor and walked to the fridge, pulling out a carton of orange juice. I poured myself a glass, then put a glass and the orange juice in front of him, if he wants a glass he can get it on his own. I walked into my room and flunked down on my bed. Then he kissed me, “ Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yep, I’m tired though” I said, and I actually was tired, I wanted to sleep for a million years. 

“Are you sure thats it” He said, and I knew he was concerned, because he was always concerned about me. 

“No because your sister fucking hates me and is a fucking bitch and there’s so much to do and I don’t want to think and I can’t I am going to sleep.” I retaliated, then crawled into my blankets and curled up, he lied next to me for I’m not sure how long, then when I heard my brothers get home and he got up and found food for them then came back up.  

Eventually I woke up then we watched a movie and made out and I realized I really had no reason to block him out, but there was one little thing I couldn’t get out of my mind. There was no fault in him, but the fear I held in my mind that he would just leave didn’t leave my head, and it was all because of the way light reflected in a few pictures and smiles resembled and my bad habits of not thinking through creations. Once it was about 1:45 am and I was falling asleep again he kissed me on the head and told me he loved me and left and as he was closing my door behind him I’m not sure if he heard me sleepily mumble “your eyes look so damn alike”

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It was silly of me to over think something like this utterly small like a facial feature on a wall, but I couldn’t get it out of my head. So I spent the time I usually took eating breakfast before school gathering all of the pictures I had of that man, or my dad, and Jude side by side and re-sketching their eyes in my notebook over, and over, and over, trying to figure out who’s I possibly painted. 

a/n

Hi guys, Liv here! I just wanted to say thank you so so much for the positive comments, and reads, and votes on my last chapter! It really means a lot to me, and puts me in awe everything I see that. I hope you liked the chapter, I’m really tired writing it so if it doesn’t make sense at all tell me. Also I’m sorry that my chapters are so short, I’m not very used to writing like chapters of things, whoops. Also I know its kind of redundant going back to the eyes thing but I kinda liked the idea of it sooo if you didn’t like that just tell me and I can try to be less repetitive next time.Anyway I’d love feedback, and criticism! If you liked the chapter make sure to vote

xoxo