Isolated. {Lams}

Chapter Twelve

So um.
I had a extremely awful day.
That was fun.
I had the longest anxiety attack I've ever had and it just wouldn't stop.
Very fun.
But uh..I have pride socks.
Yayyyy.

Alex Pov
I slowly undressed, extremely self conscious despite John trying to
'hype me up' or whatever the fuck people say.

I hate showering here.
And after what the guard did...
I don't know.

It just made matters worse.
I didn't think it could possibly get worse to be honest.

I'm in prison,
at nineteen,
on a life sentence.

That's pretty fucking bad already.

But no, you have to add a dash of sexual assault in there just for a little bit of fun.

Because that is so much fun.

If you couldn't tell that was sarcasm, then I'm sorry for that you don't know basic communication skills.
Sorry.

The whole thing just makes me pissed.

Am I going to mope around about it? No.

Am I going to be mad as fuck?
Yes.

Will I do anything about it?
No, because I know for a fact that I wouldn't win because I'm a fucking prisoner, and even though I have basic rights I'm almost certain they won't be enforced.

"John, I don't want to do this," I whispered.

"This is the only time you can shower all week. Alex, I understand that after what happened your going to be a little hasty but I will refuse to step near you if you smell like shit."
He said.

I didn't say anything.

"Do you want me to like...shower next to you or somethin?" He asked, not making eye contact with me.

"W-would you?"

He sighed.
"Sure kid."

I mumbled a thank you and striped, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around myself.

I went to the shower next to John and tried to convince myself into doing it but I just couldn't.

"Kid, it's alright." John said softly.

Uh yeah.
I sure hope it is.

"There's about fifty guys in here." I whispered angrily.

"They won't look at your dick." He said, narrowing his eyes and testing the water.

"Oh right.
I forgot.
Do excuse me.
Ah yes, now I remember a guard will just come and touch my ass."
I muttered.

He sighed and started to take his shower.

Okay.
This is fine.
I'll just, you know, take a shower next to my cell mate.

Who's also my friend.
Who's also my best friend.
Who's also the guy I like.
Who's also an idiot.

Jeez.

I turned on my shower and very awkwardly started to take the fucking shower.

"Calm the fuck down." John whispered, not looking at me.

Oh wow.
He can fuckin sense my awkwardness.

"Hey John guess what?" I muttered. "Hmm?" He hummed, his eyes closed, washing his hair.

His hair looks weird when it's wet.
It turns like really dark brown even though he's blond.

"Fuck you." I whispered.
"Oh how nice. Thanks Alex."

I wiped the water out of my eyes and flipped him off.

"Fuck you too."
He muttered.

After a few more awkward ass minutes of being extremely paranoid and self conscious, I finally finished up and went back to my cell.

I could go outside and do stuff but I don't really need to so, I won't.

I climbed up to my bed and lied down, staring at the ceiling contemplating life at its finest.

John waltzed in and climbed up to my bed and sat at the edge.

"What do you need?" I asked.
"I don't necessarily need anything." He replied.

I sighed.

"So, kid,"
"You really got to get out of the habit of calling me kid. Honestly. I'm almost twenty." I said.

"Yeah? Well you can't drink so there's that." He said.

I groaned.
"Call me like...Publius. Yeah. Publius." I said.

"What? Why? That sounds stupid." He told me.

I glared at him.

"My...
my feelings."
I said, putting a hand over my chest.

He rolled his eyes while I sat up.

"You and your 'feelings'." He muttered.
"Bitch you have em too." I snapped.

He glanced at me and looked away. I laughed nervously.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothin'..just uh..yeah. It's nothing." He said.

"Liaaaar." I whispered, leaning close to him.

He smiled and pushed me away.

"You're an idiot." He said.
"Yeah, you are to." I informed him. "Yup. I am." He agreed, nodding.

I scooter closer to him and didn't say anything.

I put my head on his shoulder.

Neither of us said anything.

It was a solid five minutes before John said, What the hell are we doing kid?"

"I don't know.
But it felt right."
I said quietly.

"Fair enough."