Bubblegum Bitch

A Million Dreams

   Dan

     I hear the shower running. This is a very weird apartment for the record, one bedroom with a half bathroom in the living room and a full bathroom in the bedroom. Except that's when things take a sorta bad turn. I hear loud sobs coming from the shower, ones that are hard to ignore. I'm leaving for work soon, but I know where I need to be. That's with Phil. I call in sick to work, before walking into the bathroom.

    I grab a towel, and sit beside the tub.

    "Hey Phil." I use a louder but calm voice to let him know I'm here.

    I see the slight outline of his sitting figure on the shower floor. I pull back the shower curtain slowly, and turn off the water.

    "What happened?" I ask softly, as I help him wrap the towel around himself.

    His heavy breathing giving me my answer. I also don't really expect him to talk. As I help him out of the tub, he starts to ignore me, almost as if he's ashamed. Holy shit he is. As he puts on sweatpants, I know now is the time to bug him.

     "Phil, hey." I walk over quickly, placing my hand gently on his shoulder.

   He looks down at me, and that's when I finally get a look at his stomach. Red scars disfiguring his old pale skin. I mean I can see why he'd try to hide them from me, but at the same point I feel bad. He thought I'd make fun of him or something.

    "You know I won't make fun of you for your scars, right? Phil I have my own too." I reassure him, knowing he's not gonna talk about his sobbing in the shower.

    "Dan I'm fine, alright. You need to go to work, just go, and I'll handle myself." He whispers, his voice sounding like he's spaced out.

    "I called off from work, let me get changed alright, I didn't get my makeup on yet, so I'm good." I explain, before grabbing some light blue sweatpants.

   As I change quickly, my thoughts wander to why Phil would be scared to show his scars. I have my own, he knows I wouldn't make fun of him. Then it hits me. I was ashamed of my scars because of what they reminded me of. They remind him of Eli, and what happened. So of course he wouldn't want to show them.

"How about this, you come with me. I shall make popcorn, we can cuddle, and we will have a movie night. We used to have them at least 3 times a month before everything happened." I suggest.

He nods and follows me in to the kitchen, where I start to make popcorn, as he looks through all of our movies. I watch the older man curiously, as I begin to see some of the old Phil back. The one who when he would concentrate his tongue would poke out slightly, or his eyes would light up. He grabs a movie, hiding it from me, as I put the popcorn into a bowl.

"If it's something really kinky put it back." I laugh.

"We've both worked in the sex industry, we are already kinky enough, love." He flirts.

How did he just make a really dirty sentence, and just add 'love' to the end. How does one do that, I'm so confused.

"I'm not that kinky." I mumble, my cheeks turning red.

"Can we discuss that one time where I tied you down-"

"Stop, just stop right there." My cheeks really turning red.

Okay so we've experimented a couple times... okay he does have a point. Shit.

"Can we pleaseeee just go watch the movie." I whine.

"So whiny." He laughs, before we head back to the bedroom.

With me holding popcorn, and him still hiding the movie from me, I lay down right as he puts the movie in.

"Okay so the movie is The Greatest Showman." Phil smiles as he lays down beside me.

I notice one thing though, he never put a shirt on. I don't know if that's good or bad, or he just forgot. Considering I had work today, I slept late so I'm most likely going to be up all night. He pulls me to his chest, which hey I'm all here for, as he runs his hand through my hair.

    "Why do you even love me still, Dan? I'm not even the same guy I was when we previously dated." He asks me hesitantly.

   I grab the remote, turning down the volume, before moving to look up at him.

    "I love your smile, the way your eyes light up when you find something you like. I love the way you laugh. I love how you always know what to say, and how you are always there for me. Phil I love everything about you, even your flaws. Don't doubt that for a second."

I see tears in his eyes, and that's when it hits me. For 6 months he lived with a man who manipulated him, who didn't love him. Hell he thought suicide was his only option. He isn't the Phil I used to know, he's changed, but he's still mine. I love him, for who he is, nothing less.

I close my eyes and I can see a world that's waiting up for me.

"I love you." Phil looks at me, pressing his lips to mine.

Our first kiss in over six months. You wouldn't understand how ecstatic I am at this point. His slightly chapped lips against mine, even if it is for a brief couple seconds.

Oh, a million dreams for the world we're gonna make.

I grab the remote to turn the volume up, before going back to my original and usual position when I'm lying with Phil. His hand wraps around my waist, as he begins to fall asleep. The popcorn sits, half empty, which I move to sit on the nightstand.

     "Goodnight Phil." I mumble, brushing his fringe out of his face.