Going To Earth (The 100)

important please read!!

hey guys! ok, i know i haven't updated in a while, and i am so sorry ab that! i seriously try! it's just a lot of things have been on my mind lately. as some of you know, im starting my freshman year of high school in august, and i have been thinking about  that a lot. and when i say a lot, i mean A LOT.

and also as some of you know, i moved last school year to a completely new school. and i haven't made that many friends.

ok quick story time:
so i met a girl that seemed nice right? (keep in mind, this is a super small school and is literally built on cliques) so she came up to me and was asking ab where i was from and shit, and she was like 'ya wanna get to know my friends?' and me being stupid and desperate for friends, I said yes. months go by, i start warming up to them, trusting them. and by trusting them i mean, like telling them certain things i don't tell people. if you truly know me, you know that i am kinda shy and quiet and held back until i warm up to you. but yeah, and then i find out that (this group consists of 5 girls) only 1 of the girls actually like me. the others had been talking shit behind my back to literally the entire 8th grade. so i tried to change myself to make them not hate me. (i gave them money, took their group pictures for them, did their homework, ect.) but it didn't work. so i tried to keep away from them as much as i could to not make them hate me more than they already did. tbh i probably brought their hatred upon myself. i probably was too annoying or talked too much. so i tried hanging out with my cousin and her friends a bit.

ok i got wayyyy if topic and im super sorry if im not making sense but i feel like i need to put this out.

but, everyone knows high school is kinda a big deal. it's the most important 4 years of our lives. and for most people, that transition from junior high to high school isn't that difficult bc they have their friends to be there with them.
it just feels like im going into this big, stressful, unfamiliar, new place completely alone and im not gonna have anymore to fall back on, ya know, like to talk to. besides my boyfriend. (ok side note, i have my first boyfriend now! im not bragging im just happy bc ive never been in a relationship but yea :) )
well, have you ever had that feeling where you know that there are plenty of people in your life that love you, care ab you, and you know you aren't alone; yet you still feel alone?
ive been feeling that a lot. i feel as if im in this dark box, and i can see my friends and family outside the box, yet i can't get out. and they can't see me.

idk..

but my anxiety has skyrocketed and i have had the worst sleeping schedule lately.

but i just wanted to apologize for not updating, but i kinda want to take a small break for a bit. just a mental break. i need to calm my life down a bit and then ill be back on my regular game. and im so sorry if this upsets any of you, i really do apologize, sincerely. but i truly hope you all understand.
ill be back soon. i love you all and thank you all for all the love on this story, it means a lot. and im working on a story ab the show, the flash!

thank you all. xx💗

insta: wwxnterr
sc: winter_jade9
musically: wwxnterr
twitter: wwxnterr