Gone

Chapter four

I sat down next to Kanako and Matsuda , just as the minister began to speak . " Ladies and Gentlemrn , we have gathered here today to honor the life of Tetsuhiro Morinaga , as well as provide comfort to the friends and family that have been left grief stricken by his sudden death . It is only natural to feel sad at the loss of Tetsuhiro in our lives but today is also a day to remember the many ways in which Tetsuhiro has brightened your lives . I never did have the pleasure to know Tetsuhiro but I did have the have the opportunity to speak with his family over the past fews days . Despite that , I realize that I am not the most fitting person to speak to you about Tetsuhiro so I'd like to take this opportunity to give his loved ones a chance to speak before we continue . " The priest moved aside and the man from earlier moved to stand behind the podium .

" Ah ... where should I start ? Tetsuhiro was ...the best little brother I could ever ask for ...in more ways than one .He had a smile that could melt even the most icy heart and his laughter would bring joy to anyone who heard it . He was kind , generous and always so full of love.He was always there for me even when I didn't deserve it . Over the past few years ...I'll be honest and say that I haven't had the best relationship with my little brother . I regret that more that more than ever now that he's gone... and the pain I feel is like nothing I've ever felt before . It feels like I'm being crushed from the inside. And if he was here with me now , I'd hold him tight and never let him go . But I can't do that so ... Little bro , if you're listening ... I love you and miss you more than you could ever imagine. My only regret is not telling you sooner . Wherever you are ... I pray that you're happy with all my heart and please remember that I'll always love you . Rest in peace , my beloved brother . " Tears were streaming down his face as he finished and a sharp pain coursed through my ribcage. If I was in this much pain , I can only imagine how much he must be suffering ." Thank you, that was beautiful." the priest said gently , handing him a small of pack of tissues , before he took his place behind the podium and Kunihiro stood awkwardly behind him .

The voice of the priest once again echoed through the church , knocking me out of my thoughts . " The pallbearers may now come forward . " I watched as five people rose from the front pew and joined Kunihiro. Each moved to stand at either side of the casket that was sitting behind the minister's podium . On one side was a middle aged man and women , followed by Kunihiro.Those must be his parents . And on other side were three boys that I didn't recognize. One with blonde hair , another with light brunette hair and the other with deep black hair . Once they started to move the minister motioned for everyone else to follow . I rose from my seat and I suddenly felt dizzy so I reached over to clasp Kanako's shoulder to steady myself ." Are you okay Nii san ? " She whispered . " I'm okay. " I replied moving my hand from her shoulder and into her hand as we followed the others out of the church . Once outside , I immediately took notice of the weather. It was sunny and warm but not hot because a pleasant breeze was in the air .The next thing I noticed was Morinaga's casket being loaded into a hearse . I gulped . Morinaga's dead body ... was inside there . And was gonna be buried in the ground . I shuddered at the thought and hurriedly walked to Matsuda's car .

The car ride to the cemetery was short , seeing as it was relatively close to the church . When we arrived at the grave site the casket was already set up onto the lowering device and a crowd had formed around it with the priest standing at the base . I moved over to an empty spot in the corner , with Kanako and Matsuda following behind me . The priest broke the silence ." Before we lay Tetsuhiro Morinaga to rest , let us say a prayer . " As the pastor continued to speak I folded my hands together and closed my eyes .

Lord God of Hope we come to you today in deepest grief and with such sadness of heart at the sudden death of such a beloved friend, who was snatched away from us, in such a tragic way.

Thats right ... God took Morinaga away . God let this happen.

Lord we know that our times are in your hands but the shock and sadness that the life of this precious person, whom we all love so dearly, was cut short in a so distressing way, fills our hearts with deep pain and sorrow.

Morinaga was precious to me ... and God took him away . I loved Morinaga . And God stole him from me . I stiffened slightly at my thoughts . Did I just admit to loving Morinaga ? Did I ... really love him ? I already knew the answer ... yes .

Be our comfort in this time of loss and uphold all that are in pain today knowing that you are our God of comfort and the Great Comforter who comforts all that are hurting. Be especially close to the family and those that were nearest and dearest. Give them your peace and assurance that you are with them throughout all their pain - and pour the light of your love into their hurting hearts, in Jesus name we pray,

Amen

"The God of comfort ?" " Comforts all those who are hurting ...?" I opened my eyes and unclasped my hands , instead balling them into fists at my side. Bullshit. That was a lie ... a cruel and absurd lie ! Where was my comfort ?! God is the reason I'm hurting in the first place ...he let Morinaga die !

Several people stepped forward to lay flowers on top the casket before it began to lower into the ground. After that , people staring walking back to their cars . I looked over at Matsuda and Kanako . " Can I have a minute ?" " Of course ." replied Matsuda before walking away with Kanako . Once there were gone I looked over to the hole were Morinaga now was and burst into spontaneous tears . " I'm sorry ... I didn't mean ... I never wanted this to happen ! " I sank down to my knees . " Morinaga ... it hurts . It hurts so bad! Why did you have to leave me ...you idiot ! " I cried , digging my nails into the grass . " Why ..." Suddenly , a cold breath blew on my ear that sent shivers down my spine .

" Senpai ."

I jolted from my spot and stood upright . I shifted my head from side to side to look for the source of the voice but I was alone . "What the hell ? I could of sworn..." I shook my head before walking back to the car . " It was just the wind .

Hey there ... so um I struggled with this chapter and writing about a funeral so its probably shit . Ive only been to a funeral once when I was ten and don't remember much about it . So yeah this chapter is primarily based on the limited memory I have of it and some internet research . As far as the ending to this story goes ... I do have an ending in mine . And hopefully will be in the next few chapters . I'm sorry if it feels like the story is moving too slow but I wanna make it as least shitty as I possibly can . I hope you won't hate the ending too much . Honestly I'm a little worried since this is my first fanfic that I plan on completing .When I've written fanfics in the past , I ended up deleting them , mostly because I felt that they sucked . However ,I actually want to pull through and finish this one . So thank you for reading and I'll see you next chapter :)