OBSESSION

ASTRID

ROSE

What am I? sitting on the chair with my laptop on the table, my hands are tracing along the plastic keyboard buttons in search of words to simply explain what I am

most importantly, who am I?

others tell me that I'm a joyful human who cares about others more than themselves, who develops relations with others in a matter of a few smiles in exchange, whose there for others more than they are for their mental health, and who disregards every memory or story about themselves simply to give attention to the other person

but then why is my mind blank while writing for myself, from my perspective?

it's a bizarre experience, to not know yourself while others characterize you as an angel fallen from heaven, but only the angel knows, what it's like to fall

I was awakened from my thoughts as loud slams took place on the bedroom door and it got pushed open harshly making another deafening thud against the wall. I sighed and gently pressed down on my laptop screen and closed it off, making sure not to damage it any further than it already was with cracks all over it

"you need to get a life you know, that's the only way you'll find your true self" Astrid's soothing yet serious voice broke the silence in my room by questioning my style of living again

I flashed my eyes in annoyance as I pushed my chair back and stretched myself

"you know I like the life I already live right? not everyone considers a crowd of people crammed in a small room grinding on each other to be called 'life' Astrid"

she placed her smooth delicate hands on her hips and began to laugh like crazy as she took small strides with her long silky waxed legs along the aged rugged carpet and walked over to my only comfort place

she drops herself on my wooden bed, gazing at the white ceiling for a few minutes as I picked myself up from the chair and start to explore every part of my room for anything that Astrid may dislike for her liking and then once again go on her lengthy rant on how I need to remodel and not be myself but more like her Pinterest board

"It's not bad to go and have fun once in a lifetime, for once start thinking about yourself rather than your patients," she groaned in frustration as she lifts her legs high towards the roof.

"I mean look at me for instance, "I rolled my eyes at her as I knew already what words were about to show up on her tongue " I'm an orthodontist, who worked her ass off for four to five consecutive years only to be known as the daughter of the richest export businessman in the whole of US"

my lips curled up as I fixed myself in the mirror while listening to my best friend rant about the inconvenient problems of her life

"HOWEVER," her voice boomed through the whole house as she turned her body and now laid flat on the bed with her face now resting on her hands " I still go out, party drink, and have the best days of my career and life to be exact!"

I sighed and turned my face to look at her now playing with my name badge

"Astrid I would love to go out and have fun with you but you know how tiring my life is as a resident and having to speed through five floors in a matter of seconds in case a blue code is called right?" I walk towards her and she suddenly throws the tag at me which I caught in a glimpse and gently puts around my neck.

she placed her weight on her arm and helped herself get up as she laid her back against the headboard.

"yeah yeah I know but please promise me for now that at least you'll come to the dad's birthday party that's happening on Sunday right? cause if you don't I'll have his men come by and swing you by your hair and drag you across the floor" she said with a smile plastered all across her face as I grinned and nodded for her satisfaction

"Fine, I'll be there but remember I don't drink madam so you better not pull up anything on me like you did last time which by the way gave me the worst trust issue for the rest of my life!" I said as threw on my white coat and put on my grey running shoes.

Astrid immediately fired up on the bed in excitement, jumping all around and cheering as if I just agreed to a threesome or if she finally got a patient's teeth corrected.

my laughter and Astrid's howl of excitement elevated every drowsy moment of my apartment into a pure blissful environment

I said my goodbyes to Astrid and we embraced each other in a tight hug as I then made my way past the lounge and through the door, getting ready for a very exhausting day ahead at the hospital.

"I'm going to be picking your dress by the way"

Astrid loud pitched voice with very demanding words placed a smile across my lips as I entered the rusty elevator to go down towards my car, where the other part of my life awaited me.