WARNING- Includes sadness, death, self harm :( if you do not wish to view this please skip to the next chapter, due to this not being truly important you can skip its just a basic viewing of the what happened in the past years :(
You were alone staying in a little motel, your room next to Richie's. You were wearing an outfit you adored just to make you feel better(Above) you were sort of down cause you had a headache. How would wearing a dope ass outfit help a headache? It wont you just wanted to be cute. All your memories were flooding back and causing your brain to feel like it was being squeezed. So you let it happen, you let the memories come and you went through them all.
----Memory 5 years before now-----
You sat at the side of your mothers hospital bed wishing for her to live, but knew that wishes were just lies. She was dying, and you thought of it as your fault. You always blamed yourself for how your mother treated you, she treated you like a disgrace of a child, a sin.
"Mom I'm sorry wake up" You shuffled in your chair
"I didn't mean for this to happen, maybe if I was there?" You eyes were brimmed with tears
"No, no its not my fault its yours you witch" you held your head in anger
"I didn't mean that" You groaned
That was the day your mother died, the day you blamed yourself for the most. The day you lost hope for life.
-----Memory 2 years before now-----
you sat in your room engulfed in emptiness, only feeling the occasional pain from the cuts on your arm. You got a job, but it wasn't like you thought. You were haunted by that clowns face, by his smile, by your mother, by everything. You felt sick, mentally and physically. You felt empty, robbed of happiness. You missed your childhood, you missed the people who hate you most. You missed feeling alive.
----End of memories-----
You sat there staring at your wall tears running your cheeks, staining your clothes. You wanted to scream, you wanted to yell but you couldn't. You finally felt alive for once, but you wish it wasn't this way.
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Okay this chapter was short as fuck, but only because I wanted everyone to know what you have been through in this book. Trust me there is more, but that will be further revealed in the future so don't worry you'll know more. Its really sad though :(
From your now crying author, Lilly
YOU ARE READING
This is love ♡RichieXreader
RomanceTHIS MIGHT BE A SHIT BOOK BUT READ PLEASE ILY _____________ Y/N moves to Derry thinking wow this is gonna be such a fun place to lives, what could go wrong! Well honey.....you ain't got no idea _____________ Oh its also my frist book like ever, and...
