Maddie and Caleb, how it started

What does it mean?

Maddie's POV

I look into his eyes until I eventually back away from him. My heart is still beating so fast and my mind still caught up in the moment. It takes me a few seconds of just looking at the ground to realize what I just did. I look to Caleb who is smiling at me. I start walking towards the hotel/apartments. I'm walking faster than normal, my eyes locked at the ground by my feet. Watching one after the other. It must have taken Caleb a second to realize what I was doing because I was already half a block away when I heard him call my name. He came jogging to catch up to me.

He gently grabs my arm to try and stall me. I look to him then stop. I don't really know why that was my instinct, but I fled. I take a few deep breaths and then say "sorry" in a whisper while looking at the ground.

Caleb says "Why are you saying sorry? You did nothing wrong. I just want to know if you are alright"

I nod and say "I'm okay, can we just talk about everything later. Ummm... Just text m tomorrow maybe. I don't know, I just want to walk back alone if that's alright. Yeah, just text me later." I don't give him any eye contact, I just stare off toward the side by where hand still holds my arm. He lets go and lets me walk away.

I have a blank mind all the way to my room.  I take a breathe as I sit on my bed and let myself think. I just kissed Caleb. Like, that wasn't a dream or a hallucination. My lips touched his. What did I do? Why would I do that? Why do I want to do it again even though I know it's wrong? 

We are supposed to be running against each other. Supposed to be fighting each other to win a shot at our dreams. This is what the movies are about, how it isn't right to date someone in this position. I have watched those tv shows. We can't be together. We can't do this, can we?

And what about telling people? What will they think about us? The contestants might not be the happiest of people. I don't know. It isn't like we aren't all friends and root for each other, but what if they see this different? What if this breaks everyone apart?

I get lost in thought all night until I finally fall asleep. Waking up and letting it sink in that this is actually happening didn't make any of it better. I get a text from Caleb

 C: So, how are you feeling?

M: I'm fine

C: Fine enough that I can come and talk to you about last night?

M: Whatever you want to do is fine

C: Are you busy today?

M: Just getting ready for performances this week. You can stop by whenever you like

C: 20 minutes?

M: Sure

I don't really know what I even think about this situation so I don't know what I can tell him. I get ready and Caleb texts that he is almost here.

I hear a knock at the door and brace myself for what is coming next. I open it and gesture for him to walk inside as to not have an awkward 'should we hug and something thing' in the doorway. I give him a nervous smile and close the door.

Caleb states "So, you first?"

"Okay, umm... sorry I just left and was distant after last night."

"It's okay, but why? Did you not want to do this because you kissed me back and..."

"I wanted to kiss you, but do you know what this all means" He gives me a confused look and I continue "We are working for the same thing here. We are both contestants and we want to win. I just.. is it like.. I don't know a conflict of interest."

"Not unless we make it"

"What?"

"Not unless we let ourselves stray from the goal. We want to win and we are going to work harder than we have ever worked for this. We will fight against each other to do it. It is the same as if we are friends, which we were. That wasn't a conflict of interest."

"Why does that make sense?"

"I'm a genius. So, do you want to start something here or not? Because I understand if you don't. Or if you need time. I get it, but I am hard to resist" he smiles and says the last part sarcastically.

I laugh and walk towards him. I lean in to kiss him. Just a small kiss and then say "Does that answer your question"

"Maybe... but I might need some reassurance"

"I just open the door and say "Hmm.. I'll think about it." Caleb walks out and I close the door behind him.

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Thanks for reading. BTW this will probably only be Maddie's POV but IDk maybe Caleb every blue moon. Also I haven't uploaded in ages... I see a theme. I am sorry. I think I Will pick it up a bit more now. Means a lot when you read, comment, vote, anything so thanks.     :D