Am I Evil?

Appointmemt With Ms. Collins

Mason, confused, frustrated, and scared as ever, aimlessly wandered the empty halls, yet again. The late bell had already rung for class, but Mason didn't care. He was listening to "Sad But True" by Metallica; it slowly calmed his nerves and heartbeat as he searched for any signs or markers of where room 315 was. He cautiously peeked his head around every corner. He did NOT want to have another run-in with Ms. Hodgkins. After he made sure the coast was clear, he slowly slumped his was over to some signs taped to the shiny, freshly-painted walls. The sign read "Rooms 310-315 —>." Mason sighed at the thought of more walking, especially when it was into uncharted territory. He slowly made his way down the bright white hallway. Mason didn't even notice that the rain had stopped long before, even before psychology class. Mason ran his long fingers against the cool, smooth walls as room 315's door came into focus. He approached the door and took a deep breathe outside the doorway, seemingly awaiting someone to open the door for him, but that didn't happen. Instead, he stood there obliviously for a moment or two before the song ended and he grabbed the cold, metal doorknob, feeling the smooth gray surface sting his warm and sweaty hands as the cool knob teased his skin. Mason opened the door slowly, as if someone was going to stop him from going in. Not this time. He was alone. He was the only person who could stop him. He wasn't strong enough to.
The wooden door eerily creaked as it slowly crept open. The door hinges were rusty and in desperate need of lubrication. The metal from the hinges rubbed together and produced a hiss-like squeal as the door slowly opened all the way. His legs shook nervously as he saw a young blonde girl's face. She couldn't have been over eighteen. She smiled as they made eye contact. Mason tried to look away. "Hello. How can I help you this fine morning? Mason struggled to make his tongue moved as his brain thought of sequences of words to say. Mason choked on his own tongue, "I-I'm appointment and I have a Ms. Collins with Mason." Mason's face flushed as he instantly realized his mistake and turned around, trying to get out of the door and escape, hoping to never return to this godforsaken room. He heard soft giggles behind him and a soothing voice call out, "Wait a minute, Mason. I'm Ms. Collins." Mason turned around and saw a rather short, rotund woman of about forty standing next to the taller, younger, and frankly much cuter, blonde girl. Mason's face flushed again as his eyes finally got to soak in the younger girl's beauty. She stood about five feet, six-inches tall. Mason noticed her particularly well-developed teenaged body and blushed as he became mesmerized by her gorgeous grayish-green eyes. Ms. Collins harrumphed slightly and both teens snapped out of their enchantment, slowly descending back to reality. Mason felt weightless. "Good morning, Mason. I'm Ms. Collins. Mr. Demtro said that you should meet with me. Would you like to come back to my office and chat?" Ms.Collins said in a very light and open tone. Mason nodded slowly as he repeatedly and frequently glanced at the pretty blonde girl, paying no attention to anything Ms. Collins said. Ms. Collins noticed the exchanges between the teens and introduced the young lady. "I see who've met my senior student assistant for this school year." The girl smiled and giggled quietly as she gestured her hand out for a handshake. "Hi Mason, I'm Harmony. It's so nice to meet you" she said in a warm voice. Mason's heart fluttered as he touched her silky smooth palms with his hands. Her soft white skin was intertwining with his instantaneously. He didn't know what to do other than smile shyly and blush harder. Harmony smiled wider as she released Mason's hand. "I hope I get to help you out and see you around this school year" she said smoothly. Mason nodded as Harmony straightened her stature and slowly turned back to the front desk, going back to work and attempting to look and act professional. Mason directed his attention to Ms. Collins as she gestured her hand towards an open room and muttered "Shall we?" Mason nodded his head and Ms. Collins led him to her office.
     Mason waltzed in Ms. Collins office. There was a very nice handmade wooden desk with matches chairs for guests. She had an expensive taste. Her room was only lit by a single lamp on her desk beside her computer. Faux plants hung from different parts of her office and a big palm tree stood erect in the corner behind the guest chairs. On her desk, there were pictures of her family and friends as well as little crafts her kids had made her. She's a very sentimental woman. Upon studying the room, Mason actually felt safe. He could feel the compassion, understanding, and caring nature that was radiating from Ms. Collins being. He smiled slightly as Ms. Collins shut the door behind him.
     "Mason, why don't you have a seat and make yourself comfortable?" Ms. Collins said invitingly. Mason jumped slightly, startled by her sudden voice. He set his book bag down, clenching his journal in his hand, as he slowly slumped down into one of the gorgeous chairs and folded his hands across the journal against his chest. Ms. Collins spoke softly and with concern, "What's going on, Mason? It's the beginning of the first day of school; your high school journey. Would you like to tell me what happened in Mr. Demtro's classroom this morning?" Mason squirmed in the chair and shuffled his feet against the worm down carpet, looking down. "I-I guess. There's not much to say," Mason mumbled shortly. "Well, why don't we start at the beginning," Ms. Collins suggested. Mason nodded slowly and tried to straighten his posture, he liked Ms. Collins and wanted to present himself in a higher manor around her. "Well, I walked in to Mr. Demtro's class and found the first empty seat I could find. He was rambling and going on about non-sense and handed us this stupidly thick 'personal psychological evaluation.' He said that we were gonna learn about ourselves and self-actualization later this week or next week or something... so why on Earth would he give us a packet designed for him and us to figure out who we are and what we like?! The whole thing made no sense to me so I didn't do it. And then this annoying kid with the highest and most irritating Mickey Mouse voice decides to talk at the speed of light to me and somehow we become friends" Mason said, getting more flustered with every word. "Maybe you're not looking at it with the right perspective, Mason. Did you walk into class with the right attitude?" Ms. Collins asked politely and calmly. Mason blew past her question and continued with the story. "He was irritatingly happy and ignorant and naive. It was unsettling. I'm pretty sure this dope still believes in Santa Claus." Mason said loudly as he felt his heart race. "That's not very nice, Mason. Would you care to actually listen to me instead of blowing past me?" Ms. Collins said with slight irritation. Mason blushed and looked down, muttering slowly "Yes ma'am." Ms. Collins began, "Mason, most problems aren't what they seem. The problem here isn't your friend. It's you. You're the one that didn't walk into class with the right mindset. You're the one who decided not to do your assigned work. You're the one who made the CHOICE to get irritated and bothered by this boy. You made these decisions and choices that have led to this situation. If you want to make it right, I suggest you apologize to that young boy and fix your mindset. You'd be surprised at how much of a difference a good mindset does for a person and their relationships. If you want to do it Mason, you can do it. The choice is and always has been yours." Mason nodded slowly, looking away as his actions caught up with his mind. "Now that that's settled, Mr. Demtro said that I would be interested in that journal you have. Why would that be?" Ms. Collins said with slight concern. Mason clinched his journal across his chest with both arms as his eyes widened, not daring to move, look anywhere, or say a word. Ms. Collins gestured out her short, pudgy arm for Mason's journal. "Do you mind?" She asked gently. Mason suddenly gestured the journal, his prized possession, towards her and he didn't know why. He felt... secure. Mason looked away as the thin paper book slid out of his hands and his control. Ms. Collins opened up the journal and put on her reading glasses that were dangling from a chain around her neck. She started skim-reading the text before her. Her expression started as blank and controlled, to startled and wary as she licked her fingertips and flipped through the pages. At one point, Mason noticed that her hand had slowly migrated towards her mouth, concealing her expression from below her nose. Ms. Collins let out a small gasp as she skimmed the last completed pages of the journal and closed it promptly, setting it down on the desk and nudged it towards mason as she winced slightly. Mason blushed brightly and slightly bite his lip. She knew everything.
"Well, that was...interesting, Mason. Is that how you really feel? Is that what you think about yourself, other people, society, and humankind as a whole? Or is this your outlet for more personal issues?" Ms. Collins said in a motherly voice, a voice not known to Mason. Mason shuffled in his chair and looked around. "B-both" he muttered quietly. Ms. Collins shifted up in her chair, towards Mason, and spoke softly, "Would you like to elaborate?" Mason shuffled his feet and looked down at the floor, shrugging his shoulders. "There's not much to say. There's not much to talk about in my life or in general. Everything is the way it is and nothing can really be done to change it" he said solemnly. Ms. Collins interrupted, "But that's where you're wrong, kiddo! You're a freshman in high school. You have a lot of things to learn in these four years and in the rest of your life! All these feelings, thoughts and opinions you have towards certain topics and issues are normal. It is okay to feel the way you do. The way you think is very complex and sophisticated. You are a very mature young man and I hope that you take the time you need to open your eyes and see the world before standing back and judging everyone as a whole. You may be right, but you could also be very wrong. Never judge a book by it's cover, Mason." Mason smiled slightly and sat up in his chair. "Would you care to actually listen to me instead of blowing past me, Rhonda? As you can probably tell, I find it particularity challenging to speak in certain situations... and to interrupt a fragile child in that moanor is pretty reckless and irresponsible of you because you never know how your words make them feel. You could be turning cogs inside their minds and give children some really dark, deep, and intense feelings that you never wanted that cause actions you never thought possible. We're humans, anything is possible. We're evil, anything goes. Some people act evil, some people say evil, and some people write evil. However they can express themselves, they will do so. And that same method will be used to express their evil feelings, desires, and thoughts. There is nothing anyone can do. It's who we are and what we do" Mason hissed as he felt his heart race again and his adrenaline pump through his veins. Ms. Collins had had enough.
     Not another word came out of her mouth. She pointed past the door and into the front of the office to a waiting chair. Mason's face fell as he went to speak, but no words could come out. He did it again. He couldn't just nod and accept the help. He had to open his stupid mouth and voice his opinions he should've just kept in that stupid book. Mason snatched the journal off Ms. Collins' desk and shoved it deep inside his backpack before getting up and walking over to the seat in the front of the office. His head hung low as Ms. Collins picked up her desk phone and called out to Harmony, "Harmony, can you search the student files and please give me Ms. Anderson's phone number?" Mason's eyes widened as those words smacked him almost as hard as his mother did that morning. He kept his head down as he heard Ms. Collins dial her phone. He was toast.