My Personal Ken Doll

Chapter One

It was approximately 8:30 at night when Elsie messily stumbled out of her rented home; she'd heart-crushingly ran out of red wine five minutes beforehand and desperately needed more. Elsie didn't need the responsibility of her life catching up to her just yet, so here she was, at her doorstep: drunkenly attempting to lock her door.

Swaying heavily, Elsie forewent locking the door. It was a nice neighbourhood, anyway; and she just couldn't get the tiny key into the blurry lock.

Turning away from her unlocked door, she noticed that the streets were already dark, only lit by the few street lamps on her route; winter was coming sooner this year.

She straightened up to look sober. She could have passed for it too, if not for the swaying, stumbling and goofy smile.

She seemed more possessed than a drunk.

Looking at her wrist, she studied the moving analogue clock as best she could in the hazy illumination of the streetlights. Ah, it was all right. Barry's paper shop was open still, he always had her favourite wine; he was a nice guy.

Slowly stepping down from her steep front porch, she gripped the metal handrails as her head threatened to overthrow her body.

It was fine; she was good. She hadn't fallen yet.

And so, she started on her route for the paper shop.

Walking, stumbling, burping, and suddenly she was there.

That hadn't taken long at all. She ran there- well, stumbled quickly with the constant fear of going head-first into the bushes. To be fair, though, Barry's was only a few minutes down the street from her home. That was why she was so well acquainted with him, he'd been there for all the last minute tampon shops and chocolate hauls. They were practically best friends.

And he has good wine, so why wouldn't she go to his shop?

She might as well have called Barry her boyfriend, she'd known him longer than any of her relationships had lasted and she'd only been living here a year and a half.

Shaking her head, she realised how silly she was. If Barry dated anyone, he'd date the Zsara shop assistant from down the road- he'd had his eyes on her for weeks. Besides, Barry knew the amount of wine she bought so there'd be no hiding from him in a relationship.

Frowning at the shop entrance, she planned to get her wine, she'd gotten to caught up with thinking about relationships- that was the specific reason she needed wine.

Rubbing her hands across her face, she looked towards the luminescent shop window and put on her best sober face, which felt unnatural. She was sure she never made this expression when she was sober.

She strutted towards the shop, mimicking her usual walk with a fresh wino twist, and flicked her pale blonde hair out of her eyes. She would get wine.

Entering the shop was easy, they had those cool automatic opening doors, but the lighting was shocking. Squinting, Elsie blamed the darkness outside for her need to squint, rather than the real issue.

It smelled nice and fresh, as always. Like fresh fruit and veg. It reminded her of opening the fridge first thing in the morning.

Huffing to herself in laughter, Elsie knew that there would be nothing fresh from her morning time tomorrow, she would probably feel like death and she couldn't wait.

Heading straight for the aisle where they sold alcohol, she swayed as she approached the glass bottles, and almost smacked into the isle itself. Cursing herself, she picked up the bottle she wanted- needed.

'Vecciano' was the nicest wine because it was the cheapest wine. It didn't really matter about the taste, but for the record, the taste wasn't that bad either.

After grabbing her own bottle from the bottom shelf, she stepped back from all the other expensive wines and attempted to put space between her and the things that she couldn't afford to break.

Rubbing her thumb over the bumpy cork, she knew this bottle would make her forget today.

Rushing to a till was difficult; especially when you're trying not to fall over and look sober while you're doing it.

Getting in the three-person line, she saw that she wasn't the only person getting last-minute relaxation items. A tall, balding man was being served by Barry. He was relatively small compared to the beefcake that is Barry, but he was still tall for his age. His shopping cart mostly comprised of frozen pizzas and things pulled from the sale aisle.

Next, there was an old woman. She was far older than the balding man and looked to be in her seventies. She didn't even have a shopping cart, like Elsie. In her hand was just one pack of 'Lackey 20 cigarettes'.

Noticing that she was staring, the woman gave her a small smile that held a confused glint in her eyes. Loren cursed herself in her mind, she'd probably looked drunker than she felt, and made the woman uncomfortable.

The balding man had just left with his plastic bag full of pizzas and the woman was now being served.

Barry allowed the cigarettes to beep through the till, before asking for the correct amount of money. The woman nodded and fiddled around her coat pockets for a few seconds, her eyes widening slowly.

"Is there any chance I could pay next time? You know where I live son, I just haven't seemed to bring my purse out with me tonight," Her voice was apologetic and upset.

Sighing, Barry rubbed his large hands over his brown buzz-cut.

"I'm sorry Mam, If I let people do that then I wouldn't really have a business. I can save them for you while you run to get your purse?

The woman's face dropped, while Elsie's grew agitated. Had he just suggested that the woman leave and come back at almost 9 pm?

Stepping forward, Loren handed Barry her credit card.

"Here Baz', It's contactless. Just charge the smokes to my card with the wine, It's not right to make her come all the way back just for these" Pursing his lips, Barry nodded and charged Loren for both things.

Waving goodbye to Barry, Loren chased the older woman who'd already made her way to the door to get her purse.

"Hey, wait!" Elsie hissed, a little too loudly, and successfully got the woman's attention. "these are for you" She waved the ciggaretes out in front of her. "I thought it would be easier than making you walking all the way home to get your purse."

The woman smiled warmly and took the cigarettes from Loren's wobbly hands, running her fingers over the plastic covering. Loren couldn't see too well because of her swimming vision, but the woman seemed to have teared up.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" The woman begged, but Loren shook her head messily.

"No, that's okay." then she snorted in laughter "Unless you can find me a tall, dark and handsome man to whisk me away" snickering at her joke.

The woman let out a low chuckle with Loren. "I would have done that years ago for myself, if I could" Sniffing in, Elsie decided that she'd better let this frail woman leave before someone stole the very cigarettes Loren had given her.

"Thank you anyway then, That's all I wanted as payment. You can have them anyway." Elsie slurred and gave the woman a drunken wink.

She had little hopes for a tall, dark and handsome stranger either way, but she had high hopes to be even drunker later tonight.

Snickering again, she walked towards her home, waving goodbye to the woman who was still stood where she had left her.

Hurrying home, Elsie forgot about the arms of a tall, dark and handsome stranger and instead fell into the welcoming arms of self-loathing and wine.