YOU ARE

Chapter 3

Out of sudden, my mind is a blank. It's like a computer loading for databases but failed. I don't know what to say but from his words, it reminds me the day we met. I mean GOT7 and I. It was their first comeback live broadcast performance stage for If You Do album. I am not an out-going person as I think that celebrities and crews shall only limited to be colleagues or people who worked together to complete a show, that's all. I never thought to be friend or getting in a further relationship with them. But Jackson is a really easy going guy where he always hanging around in backstage. He makes more friends than I do in my whole life. I guess he is just naturally meant to be a person like that, happy, easy-going and funny. I kinda warm up to people slowly but if they being friendly to me and take initiative to talk to me, I will did the same to them. Its just eventually I am close to GOT7 members, except Mark. In opposition, Mark was a quiet guy. He don't really talk that much if there are nothing worth to be discuss with. He always stay silence and watching videos or scrolling through SNS during free time at backstage. His personality just similar to me. I am an introvert and I guess he is as well.

Whenever I saw him in broadcast station, he will smile at me politely if he passed by my side. It's a manner that everyone would do. He is not that kind of person which will talk much about himself or gossiping around with others. However, I don't know since when he started to act strangely to me. At first, he started to text me, asking me what am I doing right now or asking me out for a lunch, dinner and even movies. I started hoping that he is just being friendly to me but not more than that. He concern about me from head to toe I can say. Whenever I was sick, he can know that and asked his manager to send me pills. Whenever I feel hungry, he will send me lunch box even though I never said I am hungry at that time. He seems like able to read my mind and knows me well. I started to suspect is it some action where he was doing it to show that he is interested in me, or maybe....he likes me....... and this is so cheeky but whatever he had done to me are showing that he is. 

From that time onward, I started to avoid meeting him in person if possible. I do not want to know the truth, I am afraid of that, or I shall say that, I am afraid that I might fell into the love river again, and drown inside. I will not let this happen again, I promised to myself that I can live well and good even without a guy. The most important thing is, I am not sure whether will he be hurting me or I am the one who will hurt him, so I guess the perfect way to solve this confusion is staying in a distance between each other in a friend zone.

" Kacey? Kacey?" Mark didn't heard any voice and reaction, he thought that she ended the call but he still able to hear the aircond sound in her office. " Oh. I am speaking." I nearly forgotten that I am still on phone. " I am just trying to be nice to you as I thought we were friends, aren't we?" asked Mark. " Friend?" I lost my words. Well, I guess the narcissist disease was infected by Baek Hyun. I feel embarrassed whenever I thought of he likes me. What a cheeky thought I have. See, its impossible he likes me, as a girl. He takes it as friendship and nothing more than that. Well, Kacey, wake up !

" Yes. Friend." He thought that I didn't listen what he said earlier, repeat the word "friend" again to me. For the first time, I feel relieved. It is just a misunderstanding and this embarrassed me so much. Luckily he don't know what am I thinking right now. Phewww. Okay. It's just a friend, I think I shall stop avoiding him, ignoring his message and calls. I feel that I am a bad person doing such action. Its so childish when I recalled the things and actions I've done. Oh My God, kill me.  

"So, do you have time right now?" Mark asked me politely, again. " Erm....yea... I think I am going to finish my work soon." I answered him awkwardly. I still cannot pull myself out from the embarrassment I had earlier. " Wanna go out for a movie? I guess you will like it, the thriller movie that released yesterday." Mark's voice is soft but clear. For the first time ever, I think that he have a really good voice, or maybe can say a deep voice that really attractive.

" I think ....not today...maybe next time, I promised, okay? " I said it in a relaxing tone. " Alright. Keep in touch ya." Mark finally smiled and then ended the call after saying goodbye. " Urghhhhh~~~" I randomly scratch my fringe and I don't know what's on earth made me think that he would ever fancy a person like me. Baek Hyun gonna laugh and teased on me again if he knew this.