From Me To You

reflection

July 14, 2018
It's four minutes before the clock strikes midnight whilst I am typing this.

I just want to share a little self-realization that I had while saying goodbye to the age of eighteen and entering a new phase: being nineteen.

There came a point in my life where I had a fight with a friend. Main reason: miscommunication. So my first point, or my first realization rather is: HOW COMMUNICATION IS SUCH A POWERFUL TOOL IN EVERYBODY'S RELATIONSHIP

It started off with something petty, not filtering out words, not thinking about the other person's feelings. It started with someone feeling like she carries the whole world upon her shoulders whilst the other ones getting all fed up with the other one's unnecessary remarks, humiliating comments and whatnot. Both people have fault, a fair share on the argument that turned as big as the whole school building. It's a fire that was fed with much more gas.

Fire + more gas = a disaster

The problem with it is that both have issues with each other, but both of them kept their mouths shut about it. They didn't tell each other what's bothering them about this and that (simply because of the fear that the other one might get angry). But you know what the problem is? The problem is them keeping their lips sealed and not saying anything even if it's weighing down on them anymore. And that resulted to:

unspoken baggages (dislikes) + stress + emotions building up = tsunami

And then the heavy dislikes started to grow bigger and bigger each passing day, until that turned into one heck of a big ANGER (which is definitely not good for the health). They both exploded, like two stars colliding and take note: not everything that collides creates a beautiful product, most often than not, it results in disaster. Until that anger started to explode on itself and the word friendship & memories both got swallowed by the blackhole and never once seen again.

Now, what I wanted to tell you guys is, this isn't healthy. Miscommunications are unhealthy and it just makes you miserable in the end.

Things that you shouldn't practice:

1. Miscommunication

2. Not looking on both sides of the coin

3. Holding grudges, anger, jealousy, envy

4. Being close-minded

TRUE FRIENDSHIPS are those where both of you can tell each other what they don't like about their attitude, still in a respectful way, but still loving them anyway despite of that. It's being able to share everything, right? Both the good and the bad things, and learning from each other. It's about caring, because real friends WILL always tell you what's wrong instead of letting you grow into someone who's toxic to other people. It's accepting that both of you have flaws, but that doesn't permit you two to be disrespectful towards each other.

Always communicate. Verbally, personally, is always the best. Talking through messenger doesn't always communicate well how you want your speech to be delivered that is why people get misunderstandings too through the phone.

Always look at both sides of the coin. Just because you feel so aggravated doesn't mean that the other party is the one at fault immediately. Take time to reflect. Think about your actions, did I do the right thing? Did I say something utterly unacceptable? How would I feel If I were in his/her shoes? Because there will always be two sides of the story. (Actually, three: Your version, his/her version, and the Truth.)

Don't hold grudges and everything else negative. My favorite youtuber once said this, "hating on someone is like holding on to a hot stone, the more you hold onto it, the more it just burns you out." And that is true. At the end of the day, if you have hate inside your heart that you're carrying, then it's just you who'll get burned out. SO, as hard as it is at first, never hold grudges onto someone.

And lastly, always be open-minded. Trust me, it would do wonders.

I don't know what's the main point of this post, but I just want to share this whilst I am sitting here doing something for our research project. At the beginning of the age nineteen, I realized that when you had a fight with someone, it's not okay to hold onto it for so long, it's not okay to tire yourself hating onto someone where it reaches the point that it breaks you. It can cause self-destruction.

Learn to forgive, and let go.

Time check : 12:36