Little Sisters

Chapter Four (Dylan)

        For the record, I didn't know why Talia looked self-concious before, why she always wore long sleeves, and demanded we never touch her razors. I never knew why Jess was so scared of the boys, and so shy, and refused to let any of us be alone with Aaron without her there. I certainly never knew why Gracelynn never talked. And they never knew why I disappeared to the bathroom after eating, and why I always carried around Listerine squares, and why I ate very little. Not until Lina showed up.

        That sleepover was the start of a lot of changes. Unless the arrival of Lina was the start, but I'm not sure.

        We were all gathered upstairs in the common area of the room in which Lina, Jess and I slept. The boys - specifically Louis and Harry - found our sleeping bags, and I helped Gracie bring in her and Talia's beanbag chairs and pillows as Talia got ready.

        When we were finally all in the room, there was an awkward silence.

      Talia was curled in a beanbag chair, hugging her pillow. She reminded me a lot of Niall, looks wise, right down to her round, puppy-like face. She looked around, her blue eyes wide and curious, and vaguely confused, which was how all of us felt, I'm sure. Lying on the ground, right in front of Talia, was Gracelynn. A brand new notebook lay on her stomach, and she tossed her pen in the air and caught it repeatedly. Sprawled in the arm chair, was Jess. Jess was quiet, and fairly reserved, unless she was comfortable. I could tell in this situation, she wasn't comfortable at all. And Lina was seated on her sleeping bag, the only one who was unconcerend by this odd situation.

        "So," Lina started, "Dylan has a secret." Immediately all eyes in the room were on me. I gnawed on my lip. There was no way she knew...

        Talia opened her mouth to say something, But Lina spoke before she could. "So does Talia," and suddenly all eyes - mine included - were on Tals. Her blue eyes widened, and she played with her blonde and purple dyed hair.

        "And Jessica," Lina sounded almost bored now, like we were playing a game, but she was the only one who knew the rules. Our eyes leapt over to Jessie, who looked like a dear in the headlights, and hugged her arms closer to her body.

        "Of course, Gracelynn and I do too." We glanced at both of them, unsurprised. Of course Gracie had secrets, she didn't talk. And Lina was just plain mysterious.

        "What do you mean?" I asked, trying to ignore how badly my voice was shaking. Lina raised her eyebrows.

        "What do you mean? she asked me, which made me shut my mouth, because I didn't know. "I mean that you all are hiding things from each other," she continued, "And Zayn said that you guys are like sisters. Better than sisters, because you almost never fight. And you never keep secrets." Her eyes locked on each of ours, and Talia let out a shaky breath.

        "She's right," she said breaking a growing silence, "I'm hiding something. I've been hiding something for a while, actually." I stared at her. She played with her sleeve, frowning.

        "I know we all get hate," she started, "But I can't stay away from mine. I always, always have to look, and it kills me, cause I know that I shouldn't. All the hate accounts bother me. And the things they say, they're too much, and I believe them. And I just. I can't just ignore it, and the demon in my head, and I need to let it out, and I just want to die, and..." She drifted off. We waited for her to continue, but instead, Talia rolled up the dark purple long sleeves of her pajama top.

        I didn't notice at first. Gracelynn was the first one to see them, and she let out a pained gasp. The scars running over Talia's arms, the cuts that looked new. She was biting her lip, and rolling her sleeves up, up, past her elbows, and as far as she could get them beyond that. And the scars just continued under the cloth. A tear pricked my eye. How could we not notice?

        "Oh Talia," Jessie said. Talia hung her head. I glanced over at the other girls, and saw them all looking angry and sad.

        Even Lina.

        "I know how you feel," I said. The other girls' head whipped towards me. I wanted to swallow my words but it was too late.

        "I get hate too," I continued, "and I look at it. And you know what the main thing I see is? Fat. I'm fat." Gracie was adamantly shaking her head but I ignored her. "You guys think I eat, but I throw it all up. I can't have that in my system. It's a quick fix to the problem. I just... I just don't want to be fat."

        "Aaron's abusive," piped up Jessie, and I turned to her. She wiped a tear, and lifted up her bright red tank top, revealing bruises covering her torso. "He hurts me, and I can't leave 'cause then he hurts me more."

        We turned to stare at Gracie and Lina. Lina shrugged. "I'm not in trouble like you guys are. I like partying 'cause I get attention. From everyone." When she saw our faces, she rolled her eyes, "Ew, not that kind of attention. I mean, like. People care about me, even if it's just to yell at me for smoking at drinking and sneaking out. I don't just disappear. I hate disappearing."

        Gracie held up her notebook, where she had been scribbling away. Talia leaned down and grabbed it, wiping tears out of her eyes as she did.

        "When I was kidnapped, they threatened me, telling me not to speak or bad things would happen. They killed the other girl that was there because she made noise. They-" Talia's voice cracked as she read, "raped me when I cried out for Louis to save me while I was asleep. When the ransom was payed, they threatened me, telling me that if I said anything, they would find me and murder me and my family; I couldn't let that happen."

        Lina stared at her, "That's why you don't talk, Gracelynn?" she asked. Gracie nodded. I was shocked for a moment. Lina gave us all nicknames, and Gracie's was 'O Quiet One.' She never used our real names, no matter how many times we asked her to.

        "I think we need to watch a movie to make us feel better," Jessie announced after a few moments of silence. We nodded, and she put on Mulan - much to Lina's chagrin. She only stopped groaning when we told her she would pick the next movie.

        We had fun, watching movies, playing board games, and joking around, trying to forget the serious conversation we had just had, the secrets we now held. We had promised never to tell the boys, but who knew how long that would last.

        When I fell asleep, I got a feeling in the pit of my stomach. Even though we all felt better about finally telling someone about our issues, it wasn't over yet. I knew it then. I just didn't realize how right I was.