But at last I found you

chapter 4- Take me home

note***
play the music video along with this chapter ;)

a week later...
it's been a week since i woke up from my 3 week comma and it feels different. I changed a lot and realized that i have nothing left in this world. every single memory came crashing that I spent with mom and dad from the moment I started walking till my graduation past may... I miss them and do you know that feeling when you have lost someone so precious to you? no? missing them comes in waves and tonight i was drowning. I felt that I was locked up in my own cage and it wasn't a feeling i would want anyone to experience. but i remember that I have alec. but wait is have a good word? will he stay with me? why would he? he doesn't even know me, but I can feel his pain because i have just experienced it... I wanted to go home so bad but i think that it would be so much worse to remember every memory i spent with my family. I just wanna go home, right there in this moment I wish I had a sibling so we can support each other in these difficult situations, I always loved being an only child that had everything she wanted, a car, a laptop, a phone, clothes, own room, everything and i was always treated like a princess by my parents. but who will treat me like that anymore? sadly this is what every kind person in this world of ours gets. unfair, a wild word that i never used because everything was fair for me since I was born. and at this moment i felt like there is no point of living. right? i mean what else do I have? nothing...

"maddie? maddie??" says alec, i didn't hear him until I felt a hand on my left shoulder as I was staring out of the tall glass windows of the hospital room. "I am sorry, hey alec" I say soft but firmly, I really don't like crying in front of people. I feel weak, a feeling that I hated feeling but if I face it, it's all i felt without any doubt. "maddie you will be out of the hospital tomorrow morning, just thought I would let you know." "I am? but why alec? I have nothing left? what even is the point of living anymore right? I mean I am all alone and not even worthy to live." in that moment is tartes crying hysterically and I think it was just all too much to take in and I my eyes were full of tears and my vision was blurred. I was weak very weak I don't even know if I can handle all of this. I was crying so hard and I have never felt this alone in my life. "alec I am so tired, tell me why does this happen... to me..." I said in between sobs. "shhhhhhh,,, shhhh maddie it's all ok maddie we can do this together don't cry." he held me in a long hug and his hand running through my hair and calming me down.

it felt good to be comforted once in a while. I don't know what happened after that but all I can remember was alec kissed my forehead and told me to rest and left my room. late at night I woke up and the room was so quiet and i was so cold. i try to stand up and go look at the sky and beautiful city at night. I always wanted to go to new york but never in a million years would I think that I my first time of me being in new york would be just me in a hospital. all these late night thoughts came through my head. tomorrow i get out of the hospital and I don't know what's out there that's waiting for me.

the day after
I woke up to a feeling of hands touching my hand. I open my eyelids slowly adjusting to the light coming through the windows. "good morning" alec said. "hey" i say. " how are you feeling? ready to move out of this hospital?" "yeah I am ready to go back to my home in chicago" "that's good we will be out in about an hour, i am gonna go buy some clothes for you to travel back in.

an hour later, I try to stand up to change and alec's choice of clothes was very comfortable. he bought me a pair of grey shorts and an oversized black hoodie. on the plane I slept most of the time and alec was next to me. I appreciated him so much because he helped me a lot and he went through the same thing. we were the same and had a lot similarities but I didn't think of alec much more of a cousin and a friend. better yet a best friend. I never had a best friend in my whole entire life. I was always blending in a society full of different people. all through high school I survived alone, I know how people say girls don't can live without a boyfriend but not without a friend well that was wrong for me because I survived without both and here I am, 18 years old but i realized how bad i needed a best friend or even a sister so i can talk about my problems an feel better but it's fine when was I ever accompanied?

the rest of the plane ride was silent and I was a window seat. I realized how much I love to see the world and beautiful skies from high above. I always loved traveling since I was little. after I arrived we got an uber and I got home and we were so tired. by the time we arrived it was about 6 pm and I was just so tired and i need to rest more so I decided to take a hot shower. "maddie I am gonna go now, it's getting late I am going to a hotel and I will come to you in the morning to check on you." alec said. "no alec it's fine you have helped me a lot and you stuck with me just to make sure I was ok, you can stay today in the house, there is an extra guest room, no need to go to a hotel we are not strangers! make yourself at home" I said looking at him. "maddie i am not sure if that's ok with you" "alec I am serious just stay thats the least i can do comparing to what you have done. we are just like each other, hopeless, helpless... and... broken " "maddie thats really nice of you... thank you.." alec said as he walked towards me opening his arms and wrapping them around me to give me a hug. I in return give him a warm hug "thank you alec" I mumble. "I am going to take a shower" I say.

in the shower I shampoo my hair and I just can't get my mind to wrap around the fact that my parents left me... mascara from days piled up on my eyes started coming down rolling off my face as I cry. the thing is in showers you can't tell if you are crying because you are just under water but I felt the same weakness that fled over me. I wrap myself in a towel and put on a pair of shorts and oversized t shirt. I don't even bother to brush my hair i just leave it down to curl itself. then I head towards the kitchen and drink some water and i glance at alec I see that he was deep asleep in the guest room. I felt that I was not alone in this world.... at night I lay in bed can't go to sleep in the same bed I used to sleep on a month ago with my perfect little family.

"no, no, stay with me!! mom, dad please stay help is coming! wait!" I scream as I get up sweating in the middle of the night. gosh that was terrifying. is this gonna be my life? dreaming and rewinding the things I could have prevented? but how was this my fault? I started blaming myself for what happened to my mom and dad if only i could have been on this plane thats crashed. all night I couldn't sleep I kept waking up and looking from my windows and just wondering. I go to the kitchen to get a water bottle and i find alec sitting on the couch. "alec?" "maddie i am sorry if i scared you." "no, I couldn't sleep." "me either I keep just remembering my parent's car crash" "me too, this is just a lot to take in" "I know," alec says.

the next day
I woke up on the couch and I look at the couch across to find alec sleeping on it. we both didn't sleep last night we just fell asleep regretting each and every day that we live without our parents. then i came to a realization that alec isn't going to be here all the time, after all he came for work in chicago from Switzerland. I was gonna be alone again and soon i needed to start work.. oh,,, it hit me, I had responsibilities now, I have rent to pay for the house, i have college tuition and every other expenses was going to be on me. what will I do? I knew that the money that i have won't last long, it was time to start looking for a job. you only feel what you had unless it's gone from you. a quote that applied to all of my mess that I am in right now. but for now I have to take baby steps.

heyyyy guys!!!!!! i truly hope that you are enjoying the story so far!! I will be continuing on and don't forgot to vote and comment if you liked it!! means a lot ❤️ until then beautiful people