Waiting for Superman~SasuSaku Month 2018

Day 2 - Side by Side

<Title: Never Again
<Summary: Sasuke is back in the village, and staying with Sakura. He thinks everything is going good. He is back, he is with Sakura, how could anything be wrong? However, he will soon find out that even though the past is in the past, and she has long since forgiven him, she is still feeling the pain that he has caused her in the past.
~Also, check out Ephemeral_Sakura ! She is my biggest inspiration!!~
{Hey guys! Here is the next one! I was partially inspired by myself actually, and things I have been going through personally with anxiety and such. I’ve been feeling torn up inside over things that have been happening, and certain feelings that I am having to face now. So, this is also a good way for me to let some of my emotions out. Hehe. Although, I purposely didn’t go too deep into the whole anxiety thing, for myself as well as anyone reading who could be affected. Anyways, the POV bounces around a little bit, so I hope that isn’t too confusing. Shouldn’t be because I will always say if the POV has changed. Hope you all enjoy!}

~~Never Again~~
<SASUKE POV>
After all of these years, I have finally decided to return to the village. I am now in the Leaf Village after taking some time outside of the village to atone for all of my sins. Even though, I know they are unforgivable at best. But, I know some people say I am already forgiven. Still, I have to make everything as right as I can. I want to make up for it to the best of my abilities. That is why I am back now. Because, I will eventually have to take another journey, however, there is something that I need before I can go again.
Sakura, of course, welcomed me back, not only to the village, but to her home with open arms. I accepted her invitation with gratitude. I am so thankful to have her in my life again. Although, she never really left. Even if I wasn’t with her physically, she was always in my thoughts and even my heart too, no matter how many times I tried to push her out. She kept pushing towards me. Never giving up on me, even though many would’ve. She always believe in me and believed I would come back to her someday. And I have. And I am very glad I did. I realized that I was falling in love with her back in our genin days. Although, due to the emotional trauma I experienced, I had trouble accepting it. But soon, I could not deny it anymore. That alone made it extremely hard to leave the village. Not only that, she was there when I was leaving. I certainly didn’t expect her to be there. It was painful. To have to shut her out, to see her cry, to knock her out, and then to leave her. All I left her with was a “thank you”. I can only imagine the kind of pain she suffered after that. That made it even harder to deny her when she asked to come with me on my journey. I wanted to say yes, but I knew this was something I had to do alone. I had to close my eyes, so I wouldn’t have to see the sadness in her eyes again. However, I told her maybe next time and that I would see her later. And again, I thanked her. She seems fine now. I have discussed with her about accompanying me on my next journey. And she said yes, holding back her excitement. She has grown up, in many ways, although she still is just as cute as she was when she was a kid. Of course, I would never admit that out loud. I have yet to discuss with her, the other, thing I’ve been meaning to discuss. I am just unsure of how she will react...
<SAKURA POV>
When Sasuke returned from his journey, he didn’t have a place to stay. So, I offered to let him stay in the guest bedroom in my apartment while he was here. And that’s the thing. He was leaving again...although, he asked me to join him this time. I was a little shocked at first, then I remembered his words, “I'll see you soon...”. I held all of my excitement inside, and simply smiled at him. And I felt my cheeks warming up, probably turning pink, I said, “Of course, I would love to come with you.” However, I am wondering what Sasuke thinks of us. Of course, we are teammates and always will be. But...if I accompany him, it would be awkward if we didn’t...you know, progress our relationship further. Maybe it’s just me. It isn’t something I can just bring up. I don’t want to ruin our relationship as it is. Oh, well, in the end, it will all work out the way it is suppose to...I guess.
<SASUKE POV>
Tonight is the night. I am going to ask her..or rather, discuss the possibility with her. I got to the apartment before she did, since she was working late at the hospital again. I decided I would cook for us tonight. Once I was finished setting the table, I heard “Hey, Sasuke, I’m back!”. I quickly made sure everything was perfect.
“Aah. I’m in the kitchen.” I replied as cooly as I could. Why was I nervous? My hands were shaking slightly.
“Mmm! What’s that-“ She stopped talking as she walked into the kitchen. Her sparkling, green eyes widened. They were absolutely beautiful. That smile started to grow on her face. It was like the perfect combination. She was perfect.
“Did you do all of this?” She asked surprised.
“Hn. Of course. You are giving me free hospitality so it’s the least I could do.”
“Well, thank you. It is much appreciated.” She smiled at me warmly again. Man, I could get used to seeing that everyday.
While we ate, she told me about her day at the hospital. Once we were done eating, she stretched and yawned.
“Well, that was delicious. I can get the dishes. You go get some rest.”
Damn why was she so stubborn like that? She was clearly tired, yet was still offering to do the dishes. Although I would be doing the dishes myself, she still couldn’t rest yet. I had to talk to her.
“I will do the dishes.”
“No, Sasuke, I will do th-“
“But first, I need to talk with you.” I interrupted her. She looked shocked for a second.
“Oh, uh, o-okay. What’s up?”    She asked. I took a deep breath.
“I have been meaning to talk about this with you, for a very long time. But I was never able to. But, now I have grown up and am ready to talk to you about this.”
“Alright.” She said curiously, waiting for me to reveal what I was talking about. This was gonna be tough, only because I have never done this before...ever. But, I was willing to take a chance..for her.
<SAKURA POV>
He wants to talk with me about something, obviously important, otherwise he wouldn’t be talking about anything.
“Sakura, I...” He paused. Was he...nervous?
“Yes Sasuke?” I looked him in the eye. “What is it?”
<SASUKE POV>
‘Damn it, come on Sasuke! Just ask her!’
“What is it?” She asked me, concern in her voice, as she urged me on. She was looking me right in the eyes, with her big, emerald eyes. I can do this.
“Well, the thing is...we have been..teammates, for many years now, and have grown closer...”
She nodded slowly.
“And you have invited me into your home, even after all of the pain I have caused you...” I looked down into my lap, but continued talking. “You still accept me, and consider me a comrade, and still cared for me.” I fell silent, as I closed my eyes...how could I ask her after everything I’ve done? After all of the pain I’ve caused?
I felt something warm touch my hand. I open my eyes to see her hand holding mine. I look up at her face. She is giving me a warm smile.
“Sasuke, you have always been someone important to me, and you always will be. The past is the past...look at you!” She waved her free hand up and down. “You are a new person with opened eyes.” She sighed. “The point is, you can tell me anything without having to worry about what my response will be. My feelings for you have never wavered. They will never change. Although, I figured you knew that by now. Haha.” She laughed nervously as she withdrew her hand and scratched the back of her head.
“Yes, I do.” I said quietly, but she heard me anyways. “Even if I’m terrible at showing it, I have and still do care about you too. And that’s what I want to discuss.”
She sat there with widen eyes.
“Since you have agreed to come with me, the next time I travel, I figured, maybe we can...see what it is like, to further our relationship...?” I asked finally. I awaited her answer.
<SAKURA POV>
Did I just hear that right?...I blinked at him. A few times before I could get myself to answer. He was this nervous...because of me?
“You mean like...more than friends?” I could feel myself blushing. I looked down, before I met his gaze. He was looking right at me, he looked almost..determined.
“Yes.”
“Like a couple?”
“Yes.”
“You know, the reason a man and woman become a couple is to see if they could someday be married. And because they love each other.” I intentionally emphasized the words married and love. I wanted to make sure I understood him correctly.
“Yes, Sakura, I fully understand what it means to be a couple. While I have no experience, I still understand. I just want to know if that is something you want. I know you used to, but I want to know if you are still...interested.”
“Sasuke, do you love me?”
There was a pause.
“Because” I continued, “I do not want to enter a relationship with anyone who doesn’t love me or have the thought of marriage in mind. To me, a relationship like this with someone should be meaningful and have a true purpose. I just-“
“Sakura.”
I stopped talking at the sound of his voice.
“I love you.”
It felt like my heart leaped out of my chest. I couldn’t breathe for a second. I sat there with my mouth partially opened, probably looking like a fool. I felt my eyes sting, then before I knew it they were starting to fill up with tears.
“You...love me?”
<SASUKE POV>
I had a calm face, however, my heart was pounding so hard, I’m sure you could see it through my shirt.
“You...love me?” She asked.
“Yes, I love you Sakura Haruno.”
She was crying. Did I do something wrong? Does she think I’m mocking her? Joking? This wasn’t my intent.
“Sakura, I-“ I grunted as I was engulfed in a hug. I had a moment of shock, until I wrapped my arm around her in response. “Sakura, I’m not mocking you or making fun of you, and I am not joking. I want you to know-“
“I know...I can tell. Because I love you too.”
I looked at her and smiled. What was I so worried for? We pulled away. The dishes got washed. She was stubborn, but she allowed me to wash them, as long as she could dry them. After we were done, we said good night and went to our respective beds.
I fell asleep quickly, and for the first time in what seems like forever, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
*KA-BOOM!!*
I woke up with a jolt and look around. I sigh, “Just a storm.” I look at the clock on the nightstand next to my bed. “3:37am”. I was gonna go back to sleep, but then the thought came into my brain.
‘I should check up on Sakura. Just to make sure she is okay.’
I climb out of my warm bed and walk over to her bedroom door. I reached for the knob but froze when I heard it. It sounded like...sobbing? Is she okay? I quickly but quietly open the door. No one is in there except for the two of us. And she is laying on her bed. But I can still hear her quiet cries. I approach her bed. She is shaking, sweating, and tears are streaming down her face, across her nose, and then to the pillow because of the way she was laying down. Although, it appears she has been tossing and turning, because I can see the multiple red streaks marking her face, going in multiple directions. Her eyebrows are scrunched. Her eyes shut as tight as her eye lids would allow. She is biting her lip to keep it from quivering. Is it a nightmare?
“Sakura..” I whispered to her. She released her bottom lip and clenched her jaw. Sweat dripped off of her forehead onto her pillow. She almost looked even more distressed by the sound of my voice.
“Sakura.” I said a little louder and grabbed her shoulder and shook it softly.
“Sasu...ke.” She muttered. “N-n...” She was taking short, quick breaths.
“Sakura. Hey.” I shook her a little more.
“No!!!” She screamed as she sat up straight in the bed. I took a step back to give her some space. She was breathing heavy. I don’t want to startle her but...
“Hey...Sakura.” I said as gently as I could. She snapped her head towards me, fear and sadness consuming her eyes.
“Sasuke...” She began to cry harder. I approached her, she wrapped herself in a self-hug. I sat on her bed and wrapped my only arm around her. After a few seconds, she grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled us closer together. She began to bury her face in my chest as she continued to cry. I rested my cheek on her pink haired head.
“Hey, it’s okay now. It was just a bad dream.” I said trying my best to comfort her, although, I was never very good at this kind of thing.
We sat there for a while longer until she composed herself.
“I’m sorry...I hate crying and hate people seeing me cry. It just shows how weak I am.” She pulled away and I could see her eyes were puffy and red. Her cheeks were red also from the relentless tears. Seeing her upset like this, made me upset.
“I don’t think crying makes one weak. We all cry, it’s human. And you don’t ever need to apologize to me, okay?” I replied. She smiled sadly. “Can you tell me about your dream?”
She looked startled that I asked that. “Um, it’s not really a big deal.” She showed me a fake smile.
“It’s not a big deal yet it makes you this upset?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. She looked down. “What made you so upset?”
She hesitated for a minute. “Well, it was just some bad memories that floated up to the surface. But I’m okay now.” She smiled that fake smile again.
“Sakura...was it about me?”
...
I knew it. It’s still affecting her this much to this very day. Even now that I’m back. But it’s not all that surprising...I hurt her a lot. Many, many times...too many times. But not anymore. I won’t allow myself to keep hurting her like this. All she showed me was love, when I threw her hate. When I pushed her away, she pushed towards me. She never gave up on me.
“I’m sorry.” It was my turn to apologize. “I know I have caused you an unbearable amount of pain and hurt, and I can’t take back anything that I did. I can’t take back leaving you that one night long ago. Or when I nearly killed you or when I put you in a painful genjutsu. And...I can’t take back any of the hurtful words that I said. I have to live knowing I did those things. But, Sakura...” I held her hand and looked her in the eyes. “I know it is impossible to ever make that up to you. It’s too much. But, I am never going to stop trying, because you are important to me, and I never want to see you hurt or upset ever again. So, even if there will always be scars, I want to heal any wounds that are still there from when I hurt you all those times.” I said, gently looking into her pain filled eyes.
“I just...” She took a deep breath.
<SAKURA POV>
“I just...” I took a very long and deep breath, calming my nerves and anxiety. “Ever since, that day, when you left the village. I just...was scared. For you, for me, and for the whole team. I thought you would never come back...” I looked off to the side, glancing around the room.
“Have you had this bad of anxiety since then?” He asked concern lacing his voice.
“Well...we all have anxiety at times don’t we?” I tried to shrug it off but he kept looking at me with a serious look. I sighed. “I-well, I mean...yes.” I admitted. He looked down and closed his eyes as his eye brows turn downwards. He looked like he was in pain, because of my suffering..?
“What happened in your dream?” He asked. He isn’t letting this go, huh?
“Well, it’s strange. All of my nightmares are similar..but change slightly each time. In this one, it was like I relived everything. All of it. From the time you first left, up until your fight with Naruto.” He looked at me, as if asking me to continue. “And then...”
I took a second to breath. It was hard because I never talked with anyone about my dreams or anxiety before. He sat patiently. His eyes told me to take my time. He gave me a little nod. I can do this.
“And then...I guess this was the worst and uh, scariest part.” I looked down at my lap and closed my eyes. “You left again...and you didn’t come back.” I kept my eyelids over my eyes. I didn’t want to see his reaction. Then I felt him squeeze my hand tenderly.
“Sakura, look at me.” It was more or less a question. I looked up at his face, and into his black eyes. “I am never leaving you again. I am not going anywhere. Anywhere I go, I will take you with me. And if you can’t go, then I can’t either. We will be together, side by side. Always.”
“Sasuke.” Was all I could manage to say.
“Does that sound like a good plan to you?”
I nodded my head quickly and pulled him into a hug. Pulling away, he stood up and started to walk away. I grabbed his hand, “Actually, Sasuke. Could you..Would you mind..staying with me for the rest of the night?” I looked up into his eyes. He smirked at me.
“I was planning on it. I told you I would stay by your side didn’t I?”
I felt my cheeks warming up, and I gave a smile to match the warmth. “Yeah.” He continued to walk away. “H-hey where are you going then?”
“I’m sure after all of that you need a drink of water.” Instead of a smirk, he smiled at me, a smile that was full of care. He came back, I took a drink, and we got in bed. He was...close. And held me, which was comforting.
“I won’t ever leave you again. Okay?” He held me tighter, burying his face into my pink hair. I smiled as I closed my eyes and began to drift off to sleep.
“Yeah, I know.”
                           ~The End~