With the Wind

Clarity.

Ava wasn't out of the woods yet, nowhere close. And even though the men were celebrating her arrival with drinks, it seemed like they wanted to find any reason to have a party. But, it did feel good to be the reason for celebration. Ava's eyes glanced over at Jax who was standing against a wall with a look of sadness washed over his face. Hesitantly, she walked over to him handing him a glass of whiskey. 

"I never knew you to separate yourself from a party," The woman said with a small laugh. It was true, when they were dating they both loved a good party. Usually both being too drunk to stand and ending up naked in one of the club house dorms.

"Yeah, a lot has changed," Jax mumbled holding the cup of booze in his hand, a small sigh escaping his lips. Jax was a man trapped by his own thoughts, letting them eat him alive. And you could never read him or infer what he was thinking because not only he knew. 

Ava glanced down at one of Jax's patches that said he was the VP, a small laugh spilling from her lips. "I can tell" She mumbled, her finger brushing against the patch. Though it seemed as if everything was the same in a way. She moved closer to Jax and he didn't seem to mind. He wasn't moving away. 

"You know I have been thinkin' about you while I was gone," Ava mumbled with a cheesy grin as if she were a schoolgirl talking to her crush in the hallway. 

"Oh have you now?" Jax teased, that deadly smirk that would make any woman melt appearing upon his lips. It caused the woman to laugh quietly, her emerald eyes meeting Jax's blue pair. Her long black hair fell in front of her eyes due to the length and how much of it there was. She desperately needed to get it cut. Jax moved her hair behind her ear causing the woman's pale cheeks to turn a bright pink.

"More so about how much I missed partying with you but I guess being with you was a thought," The woman teased her head moving closer to the man's, his large hands now on her hips. When they were together it was usually Ava who had made the first moves. Something Jax had always admired about her. Whatever she wanted, she made it happen. 

Ava cupped the man's cheeks her thumb caressing his jaw as she leaned in kissing the man hungrily as if deep down she had been craving his lips since she had left. He kissed her back forcefully and just as hungrily, his tongue gliding along her plump bottom lip wanting access to her mouth. A small laugh from the woman caused vibrations against the man's lips that tasted of whiskey. She was convinced that she could kiss him forever, and she definitely could. But she felt the burning sensation of a stare coming from the other side of the room.

Ava pulled away from the kiss that could've turned into something much more, her forehead resting against Jax's. 

"I'm not going anywhere," She mumbled, a promise she would keep. If not to Jax then to her daughter who didn't deserve to go fatherless for any longer. 

"Looks like you two are getting cozy," The snarky comment caused the woman to jump turning to see Gemma, her eyes cold. Mama bear at it again trying to control Jax and do what she thought was best for the club. 

"Just catchin' up, Gem, don't worry I was just leaving," Ava said just as coldly staring the den mother straight into her eyes proving that Gemma didn't scare her nor could she control her like she could everyone else in the club. She turned to Jax who had a look of frustration on his face before walking away to one of the rooms where Eden was sleeping peacefully. She didn't want to wake the toddler so that meant she would have to spend the night at the club. Something she had done multiple times before.

Ava could tell everyone was shocked solely at the fact that she had a child, knowing her as the little minx who loved sex, parties, and drugs. That was true, her past was a dark nightmare. And even Gemma was justified to be so cold to her. Truth was, when her and Jax were dating their relationship was anything but perfect. Not even close. The brutal arguments that turned to a hardcore makeup sex session, then they would go on a wild party bender. Then the cycle continued, Gemma tried to break them up multiple times and was probably relieved when the woman disappeared and was never heard from again. Jax was finally focused on the club until he had gotten married in the spur of the moment and now had a sickly baby and a junkie baby mama on his hands. Ava's appearance only added to the pile of shit mounted on Jax's plate. 

A small sigh spilled from the woman's lips as she sat on the edge of the bed, her head resting in her hands. Her attention turned to the creaking of the door, assuming it was one of the guy's and their sluts who had walked into the wrong room. When she glanced upwards she was surprised to see it was Jax.

"Hey.." He mumbled as he walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He glanced over at the sleeping toddler, a soft grin taking over his features. "I'm sorry about Gemma," A phrase that he had said more times than he could count.

Ava laughed quietly, shaking her head, "Gemma was always perfect at timing," she teased, smiling up at the man who now took a seat next to her on the bed. The dark haired woman laid her head on Jax's shoulder a small sigh escaping her lips. 

"I never would've thought this is where I would be. If you asked me what my future looked like a two years ago I would've told you I would be dead, the way I was going I probably would've been. But here I am with a two year old and a hatred for cocaine," Ava mumbled, another small laugh escaping her lips. 

"Yeah, here we are," Jax nodded in agreement, looking down at the woman with the same warm smile she had fell in love with four years ago. She laid back on the bed, next to Eden who was snoring loudly. She pulled down the larger man next to her, her head resting on his chest and his strong arms wrapped around her petite figure protectively. As if he let her go she would disappear like she had before, a fear that was in the back of his head permanently. 

"I'm not asking to be a family, I just don't want Eden to be fatherless because of my mistakes. She doesn't deserve it, she never asked to be born. But she changed my life and I want to give her the whole world, Jax," She whispered with a small sigh escaping her lips. Jax pressed a kiss upon the woman's lips, the sound of the party becoming irrelevant. 

"We'll take this day by day, I'm not going to abandon my kid, that's a promise," Jax said matter-of-factly. The word "abandon" struck the woman's chest, she knew that Jax was still hurt. Her showing up brought back memories that he had worked hard to suppress, but he had his share of guilt.

The woman twirled his golden locks in his finger, "Just sleep here with me tonight," she requested sleepily, her bright green eyes soon closing. The day had been exhausting and it seemed Jax's arms were the greatest comfort especially in times like these.

What was she getting herself into? She didn't know but at the same time she didn't care.