Austin's POV
I sat in the psychiatrist's office with Josh. Alan couldn't bring him to his appointment today, so I had to. I didn't mind since I didn't have work till later tonight, but I just really wanted to go get high. That was the best part of my job and I knew that was a problem. I needed to get a new job, but I couldn't. I was hooked back into the life of a drug addict and that was how it was going to be right now. I really needed it right now too, with how crazy life had been, meth was making it easier for me to deal.
"Mom, the doctor called my name," Josh said breaking me from thought.
"Do you want me to go back with you?" I asked and he nodded. We got up and followed the doctor back to his office.
"I'm Dr. Johnson," He said shaking mine and Josh's hand. "What brings you in today?"
"Well, my son has been needing to talk to someone about some things," I said.
"Alright," Dr. Johnson said turning to Josh, "Tell me about yourself."
And Josh did, he told Dr. Johnson about himself and about how he had been feeling lately. I sat and listened to him, not realizing how blind I'd been to how Josh had been lately. I felt like a terrible parent for not noticing sooner. He was my son, I should have noticed this stuff.
"Is there something wrong with me?" Josh asked Dr. Johnson as he wrote some stuff down.
"No, there's nothing wrong with you. From what it sounds like, you may suffer from bipolar disorder."
Josh frowned, "What?"
"It's a mood disorder," he explained.
"A mood disorder?"
Dr. Johnson nodded. "We could get you on some medicine to stabilize your moods."
"How did this happen?"
"It could be from a number of reasons."
"Did I do something?"
"No, you didn't do anything wrong. You likely got it from one of your parents."
He nodded slowly, "Oh."
"You didn't do anything wrong, though, please understand that, Joshua."
"I know, I know," He said and I rubbed his back softly. "I don't want to take medication."
"If you don't want to feel the way you do now, it might be the best thing for you."
"How do you know what's best for me? If I don't want medication I don't have to take it," He said aggressively.
"Josh," I said softly. "Buddy, he's saying if you don't want to feel like your emotions are all over the place it'd be good to get you on some."
"I don't want to be some freak on medication because I can't control myself."
"You wouldn't be a freak," I told him. "You're never a freak."
He shook his head, "I don't want any."
"What do you want?"
"I don't know! I just wanna be normal!"
"Son, you are normal."
"Obviously not because my brains fucked!"
"Your brain isn't fucked!" I told him.
Josh rolled his eyes, "You don't have to deal with it, I do."
"I know you do."
"I don't want medication."
"Well you're getting it and eventually you're gonna take it," I said looking at the doctor, "Can we do that?"
