Within Arms Reach

Los Angeles, California

I took the bus from the hotel this morning to my landlord to pick up the keys to my new apartment. When I hopped on the bus, every seat was taken and there was a few people already standing. I walked on in to the middle of the bus when the bus driver took off and I stumbled on this girl, she had long dark hair and green eyes, she was about 5'6 tall and was with what I assumed to be her boyfriend.
"Oh I'm so sorry" I said trying to not make a fool out of myself on my first day here.
"Don't worry about it" she answered in a kind voice. "Are you okay?" She said and helped me up from the dirty floor. "Yeah I think so, thank you"
"Hey you dropped your charger " the guy said standing next to her. He gave it to me and asked "are you from here?"
"Yeah, I just moved here. I'm actually on my way to get my keys to the apartment... and thank you by the way" I replied
"So if you're new maybe you'd like some friends to show you around?" The girl said with a big smile on her face "I'm Katrina but you can call me Kat. This is my boyfriend Sam" he smiled and fixed his hair. He had this beautiful blonde hair and was pretty tall, at least taller than me and Kat.
"I'm y/n, nice to meet you guys"
"So where in Los Angeles do you live?" I asked them
"In Pasadena, we actually live with a few other people too.. we're about five guys, and two girlfriends" Sam said
"But like we don't really live there, we're just staying over when we feel like it" Kat interrupted jokingly.
"My apartment is in Pasadena too!" I said, way too excited
"Really? that's awesome" Kat answered "now we can hang out all the time"

We really got to know each other on this ride, they were so nice that I almost forgot to get off the bus.

"This is my stop, I guess I'll see you later" I said as the bus slowed down.
"If you want you can come by on Friday, we're having like a bbq night. It's just the roommates but I mean it could be fun anyways" Sam said right before I got off.
"Yeah that sounds like fun!" I answered
"Great! We'll see you then! Bye" Kat waved goodbye and I smiled bigger than I should've.

I couldn't believe that I already had made some new friends, usually people don't even want to talk to me. I looked at my phone and put the address on google maps cause I mean, I didn't know where anything was at this time.

732 Columbia Ave
Los Angeles, CA  90017

When I had walked for a few minutes I found it. My landlords house. It was a pretty small yellow house with a big window in the front. Inside seemed to be the living room, and there she was. I walked up to the front door, kinda nervous, I knocked and in just a short moment the door opened and I met her.
She invited me in and we sat down over a coffee and talked about the apartment and everything I needed to know. She was a really nice old lady and I could see myself getting along with her quite well.
She told me that the apartment was quite old so if I heard something, it was probably just the building. That got me kinda scared, I don't know why but it just did.

On my way home I tried to shake that off and really take it all in. I was finally here and I had already made some friends. I was so happy, I hadn't been this happy in a long time. When I got to my apartment I FaceTimed my mom to tell her all about today and to show her my new place. I wanted to do all this by myself cause I knew that if my mom had been here to help me I would've kinda regretted my decision. She always does this thing where she makes me feel almost guilty I guess, like guilty for "leaving her behind". Instead of telling me how happy she is for me, which I know she is, she just let all her feelings out and focuses on the negative stuff. But I mean, she had to had seen it coming, it's rather obvious that one day I would be ready to move out regardless if she liked it or not.

It was Wednesday and I needed to go get some food and since I didn't have a drivers license I called an uber. "Target" I told the driver, he put on some music and drove away. In just 10 minutes we were there so I paid him and went in. I made my way through the store and when I came to the checkouts this guy bumped in to me.
"Oh I'm so sorry" he said. His voice was kinda deep and raspy but still so soft. "It's okay, don't worry about it" I replied as my eyes wandered their way up to his face and what I saw was the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. His eyes, they were blue and not just blue they were this heavenly bright blue color and he had eyelashes longer than mine. I just couldn't take my eyes off of him, and then he smiled and oh how my heart skipped a beat. I got nervous and I didn't know what to say so I just smiled back. Then I realized that I had just been standing there looking straight at him for what felt like 10 minutes. "Sorry" I said, trying to laugh it off
He laughed "don't worry about it" and winked.
I went through the checkout and got outside to call another Uber so I could get back home, but I just couldn't stop thinking of what just happened. I stood there for a minute just letting my mind wander and then..
"How come I've never seen you before" I got surprised cause he caught me off guard
"I just moved here, maybe that's why" I said
"Oh yeah? Where do you live then?"
"About 10 minutes from here"
"Awesome! So do I, you want a ride? Or is your boyfriend coming to pick you up?" He asked
"I wish.. but I don't have a boyfriend so yeah I'd love to"
I didn't know how to act in these situations so I decided just to play along cause I didn't want to ruin anything, at least not with such a cute boy.
He walked me to his car, it was a red Toyota. He opened the door for me, you know, like they do in movies and said "since you're new here, you've had to been living somewhere else before.. where did you move from?" I told him a little about my move but I didn't tell him the reasoning behind it all even though he was really nice and understanding, but I just didn't want to say it cause I felt ashamed and I wanted to get to know him better before I did. Then he told me a some things about his life too as he drove me to my apartment complex and before I had the chance to get out he asked for my name.
"Im y/n" I told him
"Nice to meet you y/n, I'm Colby"
"Nice to meet you too Colby, thanks for the ride"
"Of course, I hope I'll see you around sometime"
I watched him drive away and I thought "wow, that did just happen".
I walked up the stairs, opened the door and just fell on my couch. I was still thinking about him, I started to plan things like our first date in my head like where we would go and what we would do. Then it hit me, why would such a hot guy want to be with me if he wasn't looking for using me or cause he lost a bet. Everything I felt turned into the opposite, tears began to roll down my cheeks and i felt an emptiness inside my stomach. I was having a breakdown.
Even the slightest things could make me get one, it's like all my anxiety is building up inside of me and a thing like forgetting to buy a mango causes me to break down in tears. I sat on my big grey couch for hours under a blanket I had gotten from my mom a few years ago, and I just let all my feelings out. I put on some music to calm myself down.
Fly away - my brothers and I, from the album don't dream alone
This song meant a lot to me, it reminded me of my brothers and of how close I was to meet their angels. It always help me calm down and to think again of the situation I was in. And right now, there was nothing to worry about cause I knew that I was never going to see that boy ever again. I was certain of it.