Nero Salvic~Memories of the Protector

Chapter 9

He wants to leap at me.

He wants to pounce on me and tear me to shreds, and I just stand here and wait for him to do it.

But he doesn’t.

He fights within himself. Inside, he’s tearing himself apart. He doesn’t want to believe what I just said but he also knows that it’s true.

It’s true. We can’t bring back the dead.

Or…

Am I a contradiction of that? Surely I have died so many times, and yet I’m here, I stand infront of Jessie right now, in Jessie’s house. Annetta is here, and Dragon, and Krasia, and Chris, and Mother and Zecta.

And Jessie is right here before me.

I step forward, reach my hand out.

He steps back, but my fingers brush his skin, and it feels like paper, it feels unhealthy.

I smile and step back again.

“What… Why are you smiling?” He asks, “Stop smiling!”

“I’m alive…” I smile, “I’m alive!”

He looks at me, utterly confused. He’s not sure whether to smile back or get angry, I think.

I sigh and look at him.

“I’m sorry, Jessie.” I glance at him, then at the floor, almost feeling guilty.

He doesn’t reply, just continues to look baffled.

“I’m sorry. Miyuki can’t come back from the dead. Her soul knows how to move on.”

He bites his lip, and steps back, falling back onto a chair.

With a stuttered sigh, he places his head in his hand and shakes it from side to side.

“No.” He said, “She can’t move on.”

My eyes go wide.

“What?” I ask, “You don’t know that.”

“I…” He pauses, unsure how to answer.

“It’s just wishful thinking, Jessie.”

“It’s not!” He objects.

We stare at each other for a few moments, wanting to argue, and deny what the other says as foolishness or incredulousness

But we don’t.

He curls his hands into tight fists, so his knuckles turn white, and I hear his teeth scraping along each other.

“She comes to me, at night.” He says, “And she takes my hand, and she’s warm, and soft and she strokes my head, and she’s weightless. She tells me how she loves me.”

He wipes the tears that are forming from his eyes.

And I wipe tears from mine, because I believe him. She wanted to love him so much, I wouldn’t be surprised if she returned, now that the curse that sealed her emotions is gone, just to tell him how much she wanted to love him.

“But, the other night,” He continued, “She came, and she said something to me, and left. I’ve not seen her since.”

My mouth drops open, hesitating between silence and speech.

“What…” I stutter, “What did she say?”

He looks up at me, but can’t hold my gaze, and strangely guilty eyes drop back to the floor.