Wounded Deer

Riddle Me This, Really?

"Xiumin? Hi!" You sit in an uncomfortable chair in the building that houses their studio where you’ve caught the boys in the middle of packing up for the day. You’ve never been allowed inside of course but you sit in the lobby waiting for him. Who? Him. Luhan. No, no. No. You’re waiting for Xiumin, to give him his sweater. You haven’t gotten weak. You are much more stubborn than that. Calling Xiumin, you got cold feet to meet him. (Because Luhan would be there). “In the lobby…you forgot your sweater so I brought it over…I’ll just leave it with your manager.”

Xiumin’s voice comes in happily from the other end, his voice comforting, “You came all the way here so you want to get some food?”

Fiddling with your hands, you don’t want to and yet you do. (But Luhan would be there). “I-I can’t…” Your blatant lie has you imagining Xiuimin’s I-know-you’re-bullshitting-me face. “I mean, you must be tired? Go home and get some sleep.”

"It’ll be my treat~" His voice is pleading with a lace of persuasion hidden behind the smiling sound.

With a ghost of a smile on your face, you nod to yourself, “Yeah, okay.”

"Great! See ya in ten~" The other line goes silent as he finishes getting changed. As soon as his voice disappears, your stomach churns uncomfortably. Should you really have done this? (Luhan will be there). You don’t know whether to smile excitedly or just leave while you have the chance.

Wait, that’s an option. You’re sure Xiumin would understand your situation. Of course, he would be upset but…he would forgive you. Standing up, you pull your back pack over your shoulders. Your boots squeak noisily as you walk across the clean floor towards the glass doors. Hurry, you think, before he comes out. Before who comes out? Xiumin (Luhan). Your heart races because of (excitement) guilt. Should you stay? Maybe you’d get to see him. You haven’t see him since (he left) yesterday.

Your hand brushes the cool glass and yet you can’t feel the cold because of your heating face. The furnace is up too high causing you to blush heat up. You need to get out of there, get outside to let the cool rain to wash away the heat. That’s the problem and you know what you need to do. The door, open the door. Pushing it open, the gust of air has your bangs flying out of your face letting droplets of water to accumulate on your eyelashes.

"Hey." Oh no. He caught you. Who did? (Luhan) Xiumin. He caught you sneaking out in feargoing out. You are not in the mood, you’ll tell. Perfect excuse, right? He’d never see through you poor excuse for he (loves) cares for you too much. He’s your (lover) best friend and he knows when to give you space.

Turning around, with a guilty smile, your eyes sweep across his disheveled hair. They move across his over-sized sweater, his jeans and his boats. Your eyes move across his scarf and up to his familiar lips. They finally make a stop at his eyes, what wonderful eyes. They (love) care for you so much. He’s your (lover) best friend after all. Although, his eyes seem different today. They are darker than you remember them being. Is it because of the lighting? Or is it because (he) you broke a promise?

Swallowing heavily, you turn to face him completely. Your mouth feels dry, he caught you in a lie. You never lie but he should understand the situation, right? He always understood the situation because he is your lover and best friend. Maybe you shouldn’t have come but you knew you needed to return his love sweater. Making your face a mask,  you bow politely. “Hi…Luhan…”

He doesn’t smile, doesn’t say anything. Luhan just stands with a face of stone, watching you quietly.

Xiumin comes from around the corner with a large smile, “Hey! Are we ready to go?” As you go to answer his question, he makes a move first. Nodding to the question, Luhan sneaks a look at you before beginning to walk towards the door. “You coming?” Your best friend addresses you, snapping you out of your thought. Xiumin looks at you with an apologetic smile and your heart freezes. You can’t feel the steady beat in your chest as you realize what he did. You can’t believe it. Did your best friend really just set up a blind date with your ex?