The Reason To Swim (A Free! Iwatobi Swim Club fanfiction)

Chapter 13- A Splash That Will Make Us Free!

   

    "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  Live the life you have imagined." –Henry David Thoreau

   

    What was she to me?

    She was one of the four girls of the fastest group, and she was the best out of all of them. At times, I didn't know if I really wanted to swim, if it was something I would become passionate about. But everytime I watched her complete a set, beat her time, accomplish a goal, it would inspire me. I wanted to become like that, and I had no good reason other than I just wanted to see what it would feel like. I worked myself hard everyday, trying to copy what she would do. I tried to swim at her pace with everything, but I couldn't keep up. My dive and kicks have always been superior, but for me that just wasn't enough. I had to become the fastest, I wanted to be the best. That time where I finally caught up, something sparked in me. After all that time, which felt like forever, I had finally done it! And that's also when we really began talking; I stopped being her shadow. But it wasn't over - I had reached her level, but didn't surpass it. We were virtually the same, and everyday it motivated me to become better and not take a break, or else I'd lose it again. And then events happene with a different group of friends, and history repeated itself a year later with us. She left. I was already expecting her leave, but I didn't expect the problems I would go through after. Of course I missed her, but to finally have the bar set as me being the fastest was pretty nice until I realized something: I'm not the only one. There's tons of other people faster than me, in different parts of the world. Will I ever get to be the best in the world at one point? I didn't realize it at that time, but now there's only one logical explication... Actually, that thought probably did occur to me in a way, and I just thought it was too much. So I told myself that that just wasn't possible: you'll stay perfectly fine the way you are now. And no matter how much I improved, I just new that the future with this probably would never come to be. And with no goal in mind, no reason...it became boring. Eventually, I thought that it was never meant to be, and that the sooner I quit the better. That was my conclusion, so I cut all my ties with it; I was too afraid to chase that dream.

    We only really talked during practice,  hardly outside at all. And most of it was about swimming. Is that all our friendship is connected by? Just that one thing we have in common? Even now, is that all there really is to it? We treat eachother similar to the way we did back then, but...it doesn't feel like that's enough. Can I actually be a friend to her the way I am to my team? Or is that all we'll ever be? Rivals.

    Maybe I should just focus on myself after all. My last year is approaching, and I have to work on what I'll do after this. Yeah, just focus on what you have to do. Swimming is individual. There are no plays, no positions, no ways to score, no communication, no eye contact, no worrying if your actions will affect everyone else: It's all you. You show off what you can do, and practice and train to improve yourself. And when we graduate and decide to move on...Where will I be? What will my future team be like? Will I have as strong a bond with them as I do with these guys? Probably not but I should face the fact: We won't be swimming together forever. We'll always be teammates, but...

    "Swimming individualy is one thing, but I beleive swimming in relays is another."

    Oh yeah, that's right. We have relays. 3 different ones to choose from in fact. Sure, maybe we'll one day be separated, but that doesn't mean I should isolate myself and focus only on me for the future. I should enjoy myself now and later on. And...I might as well stop fearing the future.