Almost Is Never Enough

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♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

I couldn't take it.

No, I couldn't take all that was happening.

It's hard, if not impossible to really understand where I'm coming from when I say this. It's just hard really relating myself to the wonders of the world, let alone the world itself. Everyone's full of love and affection these days. No one seems alone and fazed by depression. They don't know the pain I feel. Well, the pain I felt.

But really, you can't blame me for trying.

You can't judge me for going out into the horrid world and figuring out what love really was.

What it was about.

Why so many people chase after it.

At least I threw myself out there to find out what it was like to find someone I could spend the rest of my life loving. But after all, I rendered myself undesirable. I should have seen such bullshit coming.

I'm going day after day fighting the demons inside me. My nights go from bad to worse as I ponder if I really belong in this world - this system of things. Heh, what if I was a mistake? I'd be glad to get rid of this mistake.

Perfectionist. Do I seem?

No. I get it. You'll try to sugarcoat something as serious as my existence. Go on. I'm not stopping you.

You gave up, just like the others. Thought you could drill some sense into my stubborn head. Thought you could really somehow, miraculously change me.

You left.

You lost hold of the smallest speck of potential you saw in me. The broken, unwanted me.

And all the while,

I rolled and laid in my self-pity, seeming nonchalant. Knowing all the while that you truly cared for me. You cared about me. You loved me.

And to think, if I would have held on to and grasped what you told me in the start, maybe, just maybe we would have been in love.

Not perfect. But in love.

So close to being in love. Had I just listen to you, we would have been more. We could have made it. Had it not been for my sense of indifference, we could have made it.

But 'could have' doesn't cut it.

We almost knew what love was...

                                             ♪♫❝...but almost is ...

                                                                        ...never enough...❞ ♪♫

                      I'm sorry I screwed up.💔

                                            I still love you, Ja'lil, baby. 💕

                                                                          ~ Alana Christina Evans 🌟

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

Copyright 2014-15. All rights reserved.

Rated 14+ for explicit language, self harm, suicidal thoughts, childhood trauma, violence and sexually suggestive themes.

This story is not meant to glorify or glamorize the events of the lives of these characters. Part of the the purpose of this novel is to raise awareness against domestic violence, and to urge others to put an end to bullying and teen suicide once and for all. If you are reading this and are thinking of suicide, I strongly urge you not to do it, and if you're being bullied, you're not alone. Don't let this be the end of you. We can be the generation that ends suicide for good.

None of the actions described in this work represent who Indiana Evans and Lucas Grabeel in the real world.

Please enjoy 'Almost Is Never Enough'.

-Samantha

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