Why is it that most peoples have dreams that are too big to attain? Just to think about how many out there near the end of their lives will never live out the life that they wanted. I'm not saying their lives are horrible or anything, but what I'm saying is that they didn't have their dreamt happiness. To be honest, I already know I'm not going to attain my dreams or my hopes. I already know that what I'm going to be is not the life I dreamed of nor wanted. At times when I truly realize this, I panic. I start remembering regrets that I wish I didn't do. I remember old friends that I've lost contact with over the years from either the distance or just a change of interests. Whenever I visit family members that I was close to when I was little, but now I can barely keep up small talk. All of this, makes me realize that I am not the person I wanted to be. Now when I get to this point of talking to myself, I would start to think about this one thought: "But what kind of person am I?" I am a friend that would help them out in ways that I know I can. I fulfill my family members' wishes of me being a good grade student and not a delinquent (still working on the grades and delinquent part by just a tiny bit). When I realize people need a smile, I try to make them laugh, however in the most part it mostly ends up with me being awkward and just have a normal conversation with them. Although what I am is not what I hoped for, I am someone who I'm happy to be. So about those who did not attain their dreamt happiness. Even though their lives weren't how they imagined it or what they dreamt of, what they didn't attain was what they thought was a perfect life, but a life that was perfect for them.
Much Love,
Shirley Spock
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The front of your house is the backyard
EspiritualThe questions of the prepubescent mind
