let go...

Part Three: Beautiful Instruments.

As he's rushing towards the door in his elegant navy colored work suit i
hand him his briefcase and phone that he always seems to forget and give
him a kiss on the cheek and tell him to call me whenever he's free, i open
the door for him and he's off like a dog on the loose. In the hours he's gone
i clean up the house a bit and get on my macbook to update my fashion blog i
run for a living, happy to find more people following my blog. As i make a
few finishing touches my phone rings...its mother... i pick up with a hello and she asks the usual "how are you" "are you two both settled in your new
house" "hows california." all i blantly reply with is "yes's" and "no's", after
the long fifteen minute conversation, it comes to an end.

I decide to get up
and go to the other living room, my favorite room in the whole house. As i
walk in, there she is...all black and shiny to the point where i can see my
reflection in the black ebony finish. He bought me a grand piano for our fifth
anniversary, i was so happy i jumped in his arms and tears of joy filled my
eyes the day he surprised me with it, he went all out too. Blindfolded me
and everything, i always told him that i wanted a grand piano my whole
life...and he was so generous to actually go out and get one. As i walk
towards the bench i softly run my hand across the piano, as i take my seat i
open the cover to the keys and lay my hands on the ivory feel keys.

I
always think about what i'm going to play but i always resort to my most
favorite piece, Schubert's fantasy in F minor D940 for four hands, but my
piano teacher i had as a teen showed me a version to play with only two
hands. It always amazed me that hitting one key on the piano and the
sound that resonates from within the instrument can seem so alone with a
silent isolated tone, yet played with other keys...it makes the most beautiful
sounds in the world. i have to start over a few times because it's been
awhile since i've played this certain piece but my muscle memory begins to
kicks in, as i play i start to feel myself sway with each key being hit and
taken away by the breathtaking sounds that the beautiful instrument spills into the room and the rest out the house. the house being filled with warm
intentions and breathtaking pianissimo and forte with some fortissimo
thrown in. playing piano for me just puts me at ease...it clears my head
when too many thoughts build up and when i'm stressed out i can play it
out through my piano.

As i hit my favorite section i the piece, i can feel my emotions building up, i always get like this, i can feel my playing getting
more better, more intense...is that a tear i feel running down my
face?...playing with more emotion than ever before my mood brightens so
much i could have swore i was glowing. I feel so alive when i play, honestly
i don't know why i didn't make a career out of this...my husband always
posted videos of me playing online, it always sorta made me feel a bit self
conscious putting my playing out into the world like that. it always made
him smile when i played for him.

Countless time he's asked me to perform in local piano competitions but i could never bring myself up to do it, it's just
not me. As the piece comes to an end i can feel myself return to my body
and everything go back to the way it was. I hit the last note of the piece like
a graceful goodbye...i take a deep breathe and smile, i stand up and i feel
weak in the knees, it really takes a lot out of you. I look at the clock on the
wall, is it six o'clock already? Have i really been playing for 2 hours
already? Oh it's almost time to get ready for our dinner with Sam and
Matthew tonight.

Random late night update, I'm currently at work and bored out of my mind. And thank you to the 3 ppl who has read this😂I hope it gets popular one day but that's just wishful thinking, anyone reading this I hope u have a wonderful day wherever you are❤️