What will happen...If a Popstar who is known by her bad habit, ended up loving a Rockstar...who is known by his wild thoughts
Cover by @ladygagafanfiction
What happened? I keep asking myself as I look in the mirror, red eyes, dark bags under my eyes, lost appetite, feeling empty, going to therapy didn't help, it didn't help at all, it made me more depressed, more stressed...so alone.
This place...it was filled with laughter, filled with those cheesy moments where we will be messing with our gears and end up creating magic, moments where I, Shannon, Tomo, found peace and our minds were never stopping, our main focus was doing music, nothing more and nothing else.
Never imagined in a million years that there will come a problem I won't be able to fix...A single mistake that crushed my dreams.
I don't want to live in despair and pain...I want these days to come back...again
FlashBack (A month ago)
"A-YO JAY, YOU WERE A BOMB DUDE!" shouted Matt as he walked into my room, "I heard the chorus of our upcoming song and I couldn't help myself but to admire it"
"Matt, you're distracting me...again!" I spoke with the phones on my ears, waiting for the record company to pick up. Everyone in the band knows how much I hate being spoken to while I'm working, but Matt just keep forgetting, "come on man! It's a damn party, why the hell are you on your damn phone?!" Matt approached me as my head was completely sinked into my phone screen. "I told you...I am working" I simply replied.
"Well...It's the record company again?" The record company has been bothering us for quite a while, and me being the frontman, I was thrown with this huge responsibility of figuring out the issue. So far, the record company are being a huge assholes. "that's the only thing that's bothering me now...and they are being a huge assholes at the moment" I reply softly before walking to my desk and sat, tossing my phone across the desk out of anger, scratching my eyes.
"Awh man..how long will this keeps on going?" Matt approached me yet again and softly massaged my shoulders , still covering my eyes I reply with a painful sigh, "I wish I know Matt, perhaps it would get easier if I did know..." I mumbled not sure if he heard me.
He went quite for a minute before lightly gasping, "I know what could calm you down!"he tapped my shoulders and ran somewhere, returning to toss a tiny bag on my desk. I open my eyes to see three bags of cocaine lays on my desk, I stand up with complete shock. "What the hell Matt! You are keeping your damn stash in my house?!!" I shout at him as my heart races, I couldn't believe this was actually happening.
But Matt -unlike me- seemed to be too relaxed about it, "It's cool man, no one knows-" "How many?" I immediately asked glaring, not wanting to hear his excuses, he coldly rolls his eyes, "only those..I swear"
"Do you really think this is a great time to get high? we are throwing a party downstairs!! huge people are there too, if they saw us high we will get in deep trouble!" I tried to warn him, more like slap him with the facts, but it's like I was speaking to a wall, he walked to the desk and opened the bag to quickly pour it on my desk, taking out what seemed to be the razor blade.
I thought since words aren't working, I walked to him and grabbed him from his back, locking my arms around his stomach and started to push backward away from my desk. Things went to violent, we started fighting, and one of the bags got opened and poured on top of us, accidentally getting me and himself to sniff some to our body.
It took a minute before Shannon barged in and saw all of this happening, as Tomo ran behind him, both of them tried to push us apart, but I was so mad and high, I only wanted to punch him, eventually leading for everyone downstairs to hear our fights, as it got a bit bloody when Matt slashed the blade across Shannon's arm.
Seeing him doing that made me in rage even more, suddenly...everything went black, I could only hear shouts around me, and hands squeezing tightly on my arm pulling me, and my hand....my hand was squeezing something, or rather someone, someone who was suffocating, and before I knew it, everything got back and I saw myself on top of Matt, choking the life out of him with his face turning blue, and Shannon pulling me, and Tomo is shouting trying to break free my grip.
And after that..things just went downhill, as Matt actually dared to file a lawsuit against me, saying that I have a huge pile of cocaine on my house -the pile he owns- and saying that he forced him all that time to get high with him. I was also accused with attempting murder, and because of the cocaine that was spilt all over me, no one believed me when I said I never got high.
A full damn year, court after court, fighting for my right, eventually ending it with Matt getting kicked out of the band,and I had to pay 50 thousand dollars to finally being announced as: not guilty.
But even if court said I wasn't guilty of the stash, the world doesn't approve to it, and things just get even harder on us...on me
Now...It feels like every time I fix something, I end up breaking something else, nothing is being done, no one is helping me, and I am drowning two innocent, talented people with me to the deepest holes of hell.
The hate they get, the harassments I receive every day...feels like I am in the middle of a war with myself..and the world.
A word from a heroin addict, made my whole life fall apart...is that really my destiny?
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