So I'm sitting on my bed in my dads house counting down the days until I go back to my moms. but I was reading through some stories on here when the story she wrote about me and I realized the only reason why I miss her and why it hurts to know some of the stuff I found out about her is because she was the first person I have ever fallen in love with. and to make it worse she was my first girlfriend. that means so much to me so to know that she wasn't actually in love with me hurt but everyone knew at the same time that she was already in love with someone we just didn't know when she would realize it. and when she finally did she hurt a lot of people. I still find notes about us and re read our conversations on here through the messaging. all those thing she said to me probably wasn't true or they were I wont ever find out because she doesn't want to talk to me ever again which also hurts because she already know so much about me that I cant just stop talking to her. its like those 2 years got washed down the drain. its like none of it happened to her but for me it will forever have happened and sometimes when I'm having a bad day I just want amnesia so I could forget about all of it but that usually only happens on the day we broke up. anyway I'm done ranting. and if she sees this I just want to let her know that she doesn't have to worry about anything anymore. I'm not moving back in with my dad and Ill leave you alone but when that stupid song comes on ill still think of you and I might cry some but I'm in love with Jacob now and I have been since I first met him. Have a good life bbg. Ill see you one day in the future. (I'm typing this on my laptop that's why some of the letters are not capitalized).
