I Only Waste My Time Dreaming of You

Chapter 4: The Time Period in Which I Sort-of Got Over Him

        It was May- and I had told myself to stop writing and thinking about James. I had a journal where I would write about him and stuff like that. I wouldn't just write about just him though. It was mostly for my depression and stuff. Anyways, I had stopped writing and thinking about James. It was actually really good for me. I was focusing on Fall Out Boy, T.V shows, and Achievement Hunter (and other things, too) It was great! But then by the end of June, that little asshole had come crawling back to me. Well, that's probably when he discovered how cute I am. aND NOW HE WON'T EVER LEAVE MY MIND. AND HE LIKES ALL MY POSTS AND PHOTOS AND I HAVE TO BE CONSTANTLY REMINDED "lmao it's uR CRUSH WASSUP U CANT HAVE ME AND NEVER WILL U DUMB SAUSAGE" 

        Anyways, he decided to come crawling back into my life. Just when I thought I was clear of him, bOOM. NOPE. I honestly hate myself for letting him back in, but at the same time not really. 

        I hate myself because I meaN AM I FOR REAL RIGHT NOW. I just couldn't push him away. His face is too cute and he is just too amazing. Okay sorry I feel like I'm swooning when I say stuff like that about him. Because your definition of cute is probably completely different from mine. Anyways, I hate myself because I can't believe I let my gaurd down and let his dumb (but cute) self invade my tribe. (Wow this analogy sounded way better in my head.) 

        I don't really hate myself because I mean, really? Why should I detest myself for this mingey little prick? I don't think so girl. And I'm also kinda happy that he came crawling back into my life. Crawling as in, crawling out of the pits of hell, on his knees, pleading to be in my mind at all times. Cuts and bruises aligning his cute, adorable face. On the verge of tears and since I am a soppy pleb, I caved in and said yes. But what is so bad about that? Yes, the annoying as heck-a-roo but winsome kid is in my head (and life, too) but I don't have to do anything about it. I can just (try) to move on in my life but still keep his picture and personality in my head and heart.