Temptation

Chapter 19 - Savannah

Mr Clement jots down French on the whiteboard on how to verbally express emotions. As I try to read through them I am interrupted by Lucy’s high pitched, evidently self-possessed laughter that dominates the classroom’s low energy murmuring. Lucy’s French tipped nails flick upwards as she raises her long slim and excessively tanned arm to probably say something useless, obnoxious, or both. 

“Mr Clement!” she demands the attention, “How do you say I am in love?” she giggles. Mr Clement turns towards her. I hear Pip swear at Lucy under her breath. Am I mistaken or have his cheeks turned the slightest pink. Usually he dismisses any sly flirtatious comments but today I could see something in his eyes that told me otherwise.

“Miss Grooms, is there someone that you are so in love with that they prevent you from concentrating in class?” Mr Clement’s hazel eyes brighten, his lips shapen to a straight stern line and he lifts a slim brown eyebrow almost enticing Lucy to foolishly respond anything but an apology.

“Mr Clement,” Lucy starts, “I am always concentrating in class,” She leans forward and begins to twirl her blonde locks. Our hair is quite similar, although hers is always straightened and it is dyed blonde with regrowth vigorously appearing amongst the roots. I could tell she was wearing mascara and her lips had the usual cherry gloss glimmering in the classroom dim lighting. She always has her top two buttons undone and her bra is commonly a fluro colour peeping between the undone shirt and seen through the thin white cotton material of our uniform. I know many boys would say she is pretty, or hot, but all I can see is her ugly personality and her fake appearance masking it.

“Then are you just plain stupid and can’t read the obvious sentence translated in English on the board,” He points one of his long slim fingers towards the left of the board, “Here, it says ‘I feel I am in love’. Copy it down properly Miss Grooms. Not impressed.” Mr Clement voice is stern, the whole class goes silent and his eyes dart around the room until he finds me, “Miss Grooms, if only you could be a bit more like Miss Bright, she is such a pleasure to teach.” I feel my own cheeks redden. Lucy turns to me, biting down on her glossy lips and her eyes narrow. The bell rings and the students stream out the door. Hailey nudges me and whispers something but I don’t listen, instead I am distracted by my phone vibrating. I swear I could feel my heart stop but when I saw Lachy appear on the screen I was confused. Lachy never texts me during the day.

Lachy: Hey Sav, going down to see family tonight do you want to come? I will pick you up after school.

I loved their new home so much, I was keen to go. I was sick of study and homework so I decided to give myself a break.

Me: Yes x see you then

During English, Bri seemed different than her usual intense and currently bitter attitude.  Something was worrying her. Her frizzy strawberry hair was tangled and looked as though she hasn’t slept for a bit. She had a pitiful attempt to empathise her sleepy dull eyes with eye liner and to cover up her dark bags with foundation but it made her look more like a mess.

“Bri…” I whisper to her whilst Ms McKnight discusses our assessment coming up.

“Shut up Sav. I don’t need you on my back. What do you want from me, huh? I’m sick of you.” This was Bri’s attempt to show she is fine. She is always snappy when trying to hide her feelings. It is her defence.

She nervously brushes her hair back. That reminded me of when we were kids together. When we were at home and she did something wrong, she would be in tears telling her mum she was sorry and she would pat Bri on the back, brush her thick frizzy hair out of her face and tell her they would talk about it when I went home. Her mum has always been a very intense person and so has Bri, but she would always try to hide it from her friends. Lately she hasn’t hidden it, and I am wondering whether I am still her friend.

Someone knocks on the door and Ms Mcknight walks outside to speak to the person. She comes in with a stricken expression, her eyes wide with thought.

“Brianna Evans, could you please go to reception,” she hesitates, “Could you please bring your things, you won’t be returning to school today.

Bri grabs her stuff timidly, she doesn’t ask any questions, doesn’t say any goodbyes, just leaves.

I hop into Lachy’s car after school. He doesn’t make much of an effort to talk to me, or make the car ride enjoyable. It’s a sunny day today, but he didn’t bring his glasses like he usually would. The radio isn’t even on. I remember last time we drove to his beach house we played music really loud, and he was shouting the lyrics with his glasses and his collar flipped up and I couldn’t stop laughing. Maybe he was nervous seeing his parents and brother, Zack, after so long.

Anna greeted me at the door with a peck on the cheek and an enthusiastic hug.

“Darling, I have not seen you for so long! How have you been?” She squeezes my hands.

It’s only been 10 weeks but she looks as though she has aged quite a bit. Creases under her eyes and her forehead are a lot more noticeable. Could this be from stress? Her red lip stick isn’t her usual perfect shape but slightly smudged around the sides of her mouth and her hair is messily put back in a bun.

I give Zack a hug and ask how Year 7 is and the transition to his new school whilst Lachy and his parents greet each other. I couldn’t help the intensity and the stale air in the room. The stiffness amongst Lachy and his parents seemed to be weak attempts of affection.

Silence creeps over the dinner table, broken by the occasional timid request for food to be passed around. I glanced over to Anna and she stared plainly down at her dinner. John looks tired, and stares at Zack, and Zack looks at Lachy with a disappointed and sorrow expression. I could see the longing in his eyes. He’s missing his big brother.

For so long I have tried supress the thought but now that I can see it for myself I can no longer avoid what I have caused. I have to admit to myself that I have broken up the Mclean family, all because I have without any consideration taken Anna and John’s son away from them and the guilt throbs inside of me.

John breaks his stare away from Zack and sits back, “So… Lachy are you still coping on your own or are you ready to come home?” The words ‘are you ready’ stuck to me. It was as though John was expecting Lachy to come home, which from my understanding Lachy was planning never to do.

“Dad,” Lachy turns towards John, “I’m doing fine.” I could see the frustration grow inside John, his thick eyebrows furrowing, his eyes narrowing. John wipes his face with his hands almost trying to supress his emotions.

“Son, I’m sure Savannah is flattered for what you are doing for her, and I am sure she understands what you are doing for her but for the next two years it would be more logical if you stayed here with us.” My chest tightens.

They are blaming Lachy’s actions on me, which I entirely agree with but I feel they are no longer accepting it as a valued reason anymore. I had always thought they regarded very highly of me but right now I feel small, as though to them I am just a silly little girl getting in the way of their perfect lives.

Lachy grabs my hand under the table cloth. This doesn’t comfort me. It makes my chest tighten even more. It makes the guilt inside me grow. It makes the thought of this relationship twist into revulsion. We are kids, and Lachy’s idea to sacrifice his life and family for me is determination for this relationship to continue in the future which I have never thought more of than a pathetic wish.

I think to myself that I should speak up and agree with John, but that will only hurt Lachy. Lachy has his mind set on a future together, and I don’t. The idea of being with Lachy and only him for the rest of my life makes me feel sick to the stomach. My palms begin to sweat and holding Lachy’s hand no longer feels right. I don’t love Lachy as much as he loves me. I would never leave my family and live on my own just to make sure I share a future with him. Having Lachy live near me gives me so much responsibility to up hold our relationship, and I have begun to feel the pressure he is placing on me. I pull my hand away from Lachy, our relationship is a stupid teenage relationship which won’t amount to anything and he needs to understand that.

Doesn’t Lachy miss his family? Doesn’t he understand what he is doing? Can’t he see how his family are struggling without him? I look at him, and he’s looking back at me. He can’t see how his family is struggling because all he sees is me, and all he thinks about is me, and all he wants is me.