Illusion

Prologue

Feng Huiyin's POV

The feeling was strange; too familiar yet too strange. I never know how to define it. I wanted to smile, laugh along with everyone but something in me grabbed my heart tight, crushed it to pieces.

Sometimes I felt like there was something eating me up from the inside, as if my conscience was telling me I was not good enough.

My parents had never told me how beautiful I was or how good I was no matter how hard I tried to be the best daughter I could. Unlike my pretty baby brother, Dayu, who only had to stand still and everyone would start throwing sweet praises at him.

For years everybody's attention only directed at him. He was only a year younger than I was but he got everything I've ever wanted. He got a perfect face with a pair of dazzling hazel eyes with seductive green dancing around its edge, while mine was dull dark brown. He was an outgoing person while I was the nerdy one.

There was something about Dayu that drew people to him. Every single boys that I had crush on, had their eyes for my brother. Even my best friend was only befriended me because she wanted to get close with Dayu.

And all of his positivity and optimism only drove me even deeper into depression. Every day I plastered my face with make up, wore loose clothes and faked a smile. But it all changed when I met him, Wang Qing, my hu-

"Yinyin!" Dayu's voice pulled me out from my thoughts.

"I hear you, Dayu! No need to scream." He really got on my nerves.

"No you don't. I saw the creepy smile on your pretty face." Dayu pouted as he was poking my cheek. He was the only one who ever called me pretty. Literally only Dayu, not even my husband.

I let out a long sigh before answering him, "You know I'm not pretty and yes, I heard you clearly. Qing told me he'll be here in ten or so minutes. He said we have to wait for him and he'll drive us there."

Yeah, another problem in paradise. Qing and I just got married a week ago and before we even got to consume our marriage, he got an emergency call from his secretary saying that someone had tried to destroy his company.

I wasn't an idiot who would fall for a stupid reason like that. I knew Qing didn't love me. He only married me because his mother threatened to kill herself if he rejected this marriage arrangement with me.

But it was different from my side. The first time I met Qing was when our family decided to meet. The second my eyes laid on him, my heart fell for him. Then as his warm smile and his affectionate gaze fell on me, I felt as if a bright light shone upon this empty life of mine. I knew it sounded too cheesy, but that was the truth.

It was love at first sight and I fell deeper for him because he was the first man who looked at me fondly and not at Dayu. In that moment, I felt like I was the center of his attention, I experienced the feeling I had never felt before; being wanted.

But those tender eyes and smile never returned. He always gave me cold shoulder and didn't even try to meet me before our wedding date. He had never held my hand, never hugged me and only gave me one peck after the wedding vow.

I understood that marriage wasn't only about a ring worn or a paper signed, it should be something one savoured and not endured. But for me, enduring all the difficulties was a way to show my love for Qing.

And today, the day he should get home, the day we finally could bond as husband and wife, we had to go back to my hometown to take care of my Grandpa. Dayu called two days ago telling me that Grandpa had got a minor heart attack.

After Grandma had died, Grandpa actually lived with our parents. But after the wedding ceremony they had had to fly out of town to do some business and Dayu had been staying with Grandpa since then. Dayu was terrified that Grandpa would have another heart attack when he was alone, that was why he asked for my help. I decided to help him taking care of Grandpa until our parents came back, which still a few weeks.

I thought Qing wouldn't want to come with me, so I told Dayu to pick me up and help me with my suitcases. Well, apparently I was wrong. Qing told me he would take time off from his company and help us for a couple of days, maybe a week.

To be honest, that was bugging my mind at first. He said there was an emergency at his company last week, and now he was free? Could a severe problem be solved that fast? But then I thought maybe he just wanted to show that he cared for me and for my family. Besides, my hometown was a serene place. It would be a great place to bond. I smiled at the thought of our bonding time.

"Hmph! There's no way I would leave my baby here. I'll drive alone and you can drive together with Qingge and all your suitcases." Dayu said.

I hated it. I hated how Dayu petted Qing's name. I hated the fact that they were the same age and he called Qing gege. I hated it more that Qing did nothing to stop him and only smiled at him. I guessed because Dayu was my brother and no one could say no to Dayu.

Before I could answer him, the front door opened and Qing's fine appearance and handsome feature appeared with a small black suitcase in his hand.

"You're ho-" I hadn't finished my sentence as Dayu shouted,

"Qingge!" He ran to the door and hugged Qing tightly, nuzzling his nose to the crook of Qing's neck.

It was annoying, but we were talking about Dayu. That was how he acting around our family and friends. He'll get a little clingy to a person he liked. From the moment he met Qing, they got familiar really fast and he acted clingy already after that. As no one said anything to him, I couldn't say anything either to stop him. Besides that, Qing didn't show any dislike, he even smiled at Dayu. So I decided to stay still and swallowed all the foul and vulgar words I would be stared at for saying.

Often it got me thinking; why did Qing acted like he did? Why he smiled at Dayu and not at me? Why when we first met he smiled so warmly at me? Where was the affectionate gaze he gave me that time? Would I never see those fond and loving eyes again? Did I do something wrong that made him hate me?

And today I finally saw it again; those warm smile, his true sweet smile and loving gaze. Only it wasn't directed at me, but at Dayu, who he caught into his arms.

Immediately my mind dragged me back to the moment when we met. I saw myself standing in the hallway of his parent's home with my parents beside me and Dayu stood closely behind me. Qing's parents greeted us with handshakes and smiles, but I had my eyes stuck only at Qing.

Then I noticed something; Something important that I should have realized from the very first time I met him. Something that made my blood ran cold and my heart sank. My eyes became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. I bit my lip tightly in attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from my mouth.

Now I saw it.

While I was smiling like an idiot in love at Qing, his gaze wasn't fixed at me.

If only I wasn't so blinded by the love at first sight, I would have noticed our eyes didn't meet. I should have noticed his tender and affectionate gaze wasn't directed at me, but at pretty Dayu who was standing behind me.

Of course...

How could I be so stupid? Who could resist Dayu and choose to be with me?

I clenched my fists so hard, I could feel my nails digging into the flesh. The bloods running inside me burned my body so bad like fire lacing my veins. I was intoxicated with emotion I had no intention of ever feeling and all I could feel was desire; desire to kill.