The Scrapbook

Chapter 45

The Scrapbook

by: Ella_Kitty

Chapter 45: His Scrapbook

Syrene's P.O.V.

"Sy ! Please! Talk to me!" I can still hear Seril's pleading voice. I can't help but to cry. A part of my heart wants to go to him and hug him tight and yet there's a part of me that does not want to. Ngayon ko lang nalaman na nakakatrauma rin pala ang masaktan. "Syrene!!" 

Anim na araw na ang lumipas. Days were still the same, still painful. Pero hindi gaya ng nangyari noon na nagkukulong ako sa kwarto ko, ngayon ay pinapatuloy ko pa rin ang buhay ko. I am still aware of my needs and I can't let myself starve to death because of a damn damage.

"Umalis ka na nga dito! Ilang araw ka ng nakakaistorbo sa amin!!!" I heard Thunder's annoyed voice. I peeped in my window to see what's happening. And Seril was there kneeling infront of Thunder.

"I don't fcking care! I WANT TO TALK TO HER! Please..let me. Let me talk to her please." Nang makita ko siyang umiiyak, nagmamakaawa't lumuluhod. Hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong bumaba at puntahan siya. 

I saw him. I saw how his eyes met mine and how it sparkled upon seeing me. Agad naman siyang tumakbo papunta sa akin at binigyan ako ng isang mahigpit .. na yakap. Hindi ko na maiwasang umiyak at ang pagpatak ng mga luha ko. Oo, mahal na mahal ko siya, hanggang sa puntong napakasakit na.

"Please Sy. Come back to me. Bumalik ka na. Sorry. Sorry sa mga inasal ko." he said. "Please. Bumalik ka na. I'll never be inconsiderate again, just please, 'wag mo lang iwan. Just promise that you'll be with me. Always and forever, Mahal na mahal kita." Those last words set my tears to multiply. Napakasakit, sobra. Pero wala akong magagawa. Napagdesisyonan ko na. Kahit alam kong malaki ang epekto nito sa aming dalawa, eto lang ang alam kong dahilan para mas maging mabuti ang buhay namin. Maybe we're not meant for each other. I don't know, destiny plays dirty. Kumalas ako sa yakap niya at tumalikod sa kanya. I can't.. I can't just say these words to him habang nakaharap sa kanya. It will just break me down even more. 

"A simple sorry can't cure everything Seril. Sinabi ko na. Ayoko na, so please. Tinupad ko na ang gusto mo noon, pwede tuparin mo naman ang sa akin ngayon?" pilit kong sabi dahil halos hindi na ako makahinga dahil sa pag-iyak. Sandaling katahimikan ang pumagitan sa aming dalawa. 

"Is that what you really want? 'Yan ba?" he asked. I bit my lower lip. Hindi, hindi naman talaga ito ang gusto ko. I want a happily forever after, but sad to say, forever is just for the imagination. Hindi ako sumagot. I kept my silent tone. "Fine. Susundin ko ang gusto mo." So this is the end again? Naglakad na ako papasok sa bahay pagkatapos nun at doon na inilabas ang lahat ng sakit. Umiyak ako nang umiyak hanggang sa napagod ako.

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Kinabukasan ay pumunta kami ni K at G sa isang coffee shop malapit sa bahay namin. My eyes were red and puffy, good thing is that I have my sunglasses with me. 

"You still love him, don't you?" I glanced at K because of what she said. I took a sip of my coffee before answering her.

"Is it obvious?" I really still love him. I saw them nod. "I'm scared of getting wreck for the third time." I said. She rolled her eyes when she heard what I said.

"It's just the third time Syrene Meri Ocampo. May ibang babae nga na 20 times ng nasaktan. Just stop when you don't feel in love with him anymore, don't stop because of pain, 'cause that is just plainly temporary and you two can work that out." she said. Somehow, nabuhay ko dahil sa sinabi niya. K's right. Bakit ba ako sumuko dahil lang doon? Aish! I'm a stupid girl!

"Mabuti pa kayo ni Gee. Wala masyadong problema." I said. Agad naman siyang nagreact.

"that's a BIG NO NO! Ilang away na kaya ang natapos at nasolve namin noh! At paulit-ulit pa ang iba! Naku! Kung alam mo lang minsan nakakabiak ng ulo ang mga problema namin. Sy, it's normal for couples to go to that state. Nasa sa'yo na if you'll fight that with him or turn away from that." Why is K an expert with this advice thingy? It really helps. Hayys.

"Kung alam mo lang ilang sabunot ang nakuha ko mula sa kanya nung nagsumbong siya sa akin tungkol sa away nila ni Gee. Ang sarap batukan ng ten thousand times." komento ni G. Napatawa naman kaming tatlo. Hayys. Medyo matagal na rin akong hindi nakapagbonding sa kanila, I missed them too.

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We parted ways after that long discussion. Pagkarating ko sa bahay ay nakita ko si Seril na nakatayo sa tapat ng gate namin. I was about to call him when he faced me. Nakasunglasses siya, I bet his eyes were same as mine. I walked closer to him and  took a deep breath before saying something.

"I've got something to sa---"

"Me first." he interrupted. I was about to open my mouth when I decided not to. Maybe I should hear him first. "I have something to give." then he gave me his ..... scrapbook? I was about to ask why will he give it to me when he talked. "Please accept this. Andiyan lahat ng gusto mong malaman. It's up to you if you'll read it or not." Kinuha ko naman ang scrapbook niya, hindi lang pala yun isang bagay, dalawa, may isa pang notebook. Para saan ba ang mga ito.

"I have to say something.." I finally fully said. Ngayon ay sasabihin ko na sa kanya lahat lahat. Kung gaano ko siya kamahal at kung gaano ko gustong makasama siya, mapatubig, lupa o bagyo man. 

"I'm in a hurry. Mag-iimpake pa kasi ako eh. Bye." he simply said and ran towards his car. I just watched his car driving away from me. It took me a few second to load in to my brain what he said.

Mag-iimpake? Is he going somewhere? Where would he go? and WHY?!

Tiningnan ko ang hawak hawak ko na dalawang bagay. Agad naman akong pumasok  sa kwarto ko at doon ay inilapag kaagad ang mga bagay na iyon. I took his scrapbook first. I can't understand, scrapbook niya ito pero ba't niya binibigay sa akin. Remembrance? Is he perhaps staying away from me for good? I turned the cover page and the first thing I saw was:

Dear Scrapbook,