The Aftermath

Chapter 1- Painful Present

Namjoon's POV

I sat numbly on the hospital room floor not taking my eyes off the heart monitor. I slowly lifted myself off the floor and walked over to the side of the bed that was occupied by the love of my life.

 "Hello my love.... I hope that your doing alright today. Please wake up soon everyone misses you, I miss you. It's been months since everything happened, and I haven't been myself. I love you and I'll see you tomorrow (Y/N)..." I said and kissed her on her forehead and walked out of her room.

I walked out of the hospital and noticed that it was dark now. I had spent the whole day sitting in her room on the floor but that didn't concern me because I immediately went to the nearest drug store so I can numb the pain that I feel. I walked into the store and was greeted with a smile, I gave a small smile to be respectful and walked back towards the alcohol. I grabbed a bottle each of vodka and rum and walked my way towards the front counter and placed them down. 

"I need to see some identification sir." the young man behind the counter said looking at me as he scanned the two bottles. I pulled out my wallet and pulled out my drivers license and handed it to the man. He scanned the card and nodded before handing it back to me. I paid for the alcohol and walked out of the store. 

I walked down the dark street of Seoul and ended up at the park where (Y/N) and I always went together. I sat down on the park bench and opened up my first bottle and took a large drink of it, cringing at the burn it gave me in my throat. I drank until the bottle was empty and began to pick up the last bottle. I took a large drink before attempting to stand up from the bench and stumbled my way home. I continued to catch myself as I clumsily walked my way home. 

I tripped over my feet as I stumbled up the stairs to the floor of everyone's shared dorm. I grabbed my keys out of my back pocket and made my way down the hall. I kept taking drinks along the way even though the bottle was almost empty by now. This was a routine every single day, numbing away my pain and sorrow by drinking large amounts of alcohol. 

I unlocked the door and drunkenly walked in with my almost empty bottle in hand. I walked through the living room only to be met with angry faces. "Where have you been?" Seokjin sternly asked crossing his arms. "Out" I said plainly 

"So you weren't just out drinking like you always do?" Yoongi said coming closer with a angry look in his eye. 

"I don't think that it's any of your business.." I said emotionless "Like hell its none of our business, your drinking your life away while your wife is lying in a hospital bed in a coma!" Jimin screamed at me. I shrugged and lifted the bottle attempting to finish it off but it was taken away from me by Jungkook and thrown across the room and shattered against the wall.

"Hey, that was fucking mine how dare you disrespect me like that I am your hyung!" I screamed at Jungkook furiously. "Really your my hyung? It's kind hard because you don't act like one, how can I treat you like my hyung or a leader if your wasting your life away in your sorrow. I mean, your drink til the sun goes down and you push everyone away even though we are the ones who are grieving too! Not just you!" he shouted at me. 

"We want to help you but you keep shrugging us off like were nothing to you!" he shouted again and pushed me into the wall making me fall to the ground.

"Quit pushing us away all the time and let us help you for crying out loud!" Taehyung said staring at me with his arms crossed as well. 

I got up from my spot after multiple attempts and just walked to my room and slammed the door shut. I sat on my bed and started thinking on how bad of a leader and a friend I have been ever since everything has happened. Tears started to cascade down my face, I just felt so useless I couldn't even protect my own wife and now I'm letting down my friends and band members too. Just what kind of person am I?

~The Next Day~

    I woke up in the same clothes I wore yesterday, my brain was pounding against my skull and events from the previous night seemed to be far forgotten. Nothing has changed, its been like this everyday since (Y/N) has been in that hospital bed, in a coma. I go visit her, cry, and waste my money and drink my life away to forget all the painful feelings. 

There's no doubt in my mind that the others are disappointed in me, I know I am. If this keeps up I'll be a raging alcoholic, that's something that would kick me in the ass later on. Loosing my job, my friends, and most importantly my life. I sluggishly got up out of bed and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. I looked into the mirror and what I saw was disappointing, very prominent dark circles under my eyes, they were puffy and red from crying. My face was starting to stipple due to not shaving, I looked away from the mirror disgusted and started throwing off my clothes. I opened the shower door and turned on the water and walked in. 

Afterwards I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked out of the bathroom, I looked through my closet for something decent to wear today not that it mattered I wasn't going to show up to work once again, Instead I would go to the hospital to visit the one I love.

I decided on a turtle neck sweater and some jeans, I walked out of my room and into the living room where Jin was spotted cleaning up broken glass off the floor. I knew that it was because of me. "I'm sorry..." I said quietly as my voice cracked. 

Jin looked up at me before sighing, he got up and walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm disappointed in you Namjoon, not because of your drinking problem but because of how much you refuse to let us help you and continuously push us away..." he said sadly. "I thought being alone would be better for everyone including me." I said with teary eyes.

"You couldn't be more wrong, you need comfort you need someone to hold you during hard times, you may be a leader and you may think that as a leader you always need to be the better one but sometimes there are times where you need to step down from that position and have someone care for you for once especially when your hurting." he said and brought me into a hug, I hugged him back tightly and cried on his shoulder.

Times are going to be hard without you (Y/N) but the boys are here to help me through it I wont give up so easily. Please wake up soon...