the life we could have had | kwon soonyoung

life

it hadn't been long,
but her mind already seemed
to have drifted away.
off and up into the starry sky,
to merge and mingle
with the lonely spirits of the stars.

a chilly breeze hugged
her sick form
and oddly enough
she found comfort
in the familiar cold.
like the tiles,
under her bare feet,
that stretched along the whole hospital.
they were cold.
her glass lungs felt cold.
her fingers,
they froze.
but familiar things
are what people find comfort in.
still, the thought of death wasn't
entire comfort to her
just yet.
she sighed.

〔〕

he sighed.
with as much strength
as his deflating body still had left
he pushed open the heavy door.
a chilly breeze caressed his face.
it reminded him of
his mother's hands.

like the flap of a pigeon's wing
the dandelion's tiny petals rose
at the sudden new sight
of a bright gleaming figure
sitting in the place
he used to call his secret
or far more;
his thought's escape.

she gleamed yellow
in his eyes.
yellow
with freckles that looked like
a pretty flower's golden spring pollen.
she did not have any actual freckles,
but that was left to be ignored,
like he ignored
the silent sobs of his mother
when the pain didn't actually
let him sleep.

but
to him
the golden spots
were speckled all over her face,
over the bridge of her tiny,
round nose,
her pale cheeks;
for she was a child of the stars.

a dandelion reached for a starry sky.

his short gown
formed tiny waves
around his knees,
he took steps
towards the stars.
she looked up at him.

they had met earlier that day.
didn't she come back
from the rest room
at that time?
they acknowledged eachother's
presence.
he had flashed her a smile:
habit.
stumbling over the stones of thought
she had tried to form
a pavement out of,
there was no time to return
the friendly gesture;
neither was there strength to.
but her eyes did follow
the blonde ball of soft hair
until he had taken a turn.

she shifted.
he sat.

"i come here to think a lot."

she nodded.

the cloudy veils
that hung lightly in the sky
seemed to watch
with curiosity.

"what are you whispering
to the stars?"

at that
her veins rattled
from the yellow liquid
he had just filled them with.
she brought up the energy
and weakly, but finally
managed to raise the corners
of her cracked lips
and return the simple
happy gesture.
"sweet nothings."

he copied
and his lips parted
to reveal another bright smile.

to her it was almost as radiant
as she was to him.

"i'm soonyoung",
he spoke.
his voice sounded like pillow forts.
it gleamed like your favorite
fairy lights.

"yerim."
she smiled once more.
it felt odd
and foreign
but for something so unfamiliar
it seemed too beautiful
to be scared of.

they sat
and stared
and admired
and thought
with no word
slipping off their tongue.
but they sketched conversations
and colored them in
with the silence
that floated
between their withering bodies.
as if it had always
just somewhat been there.

and they swallowed another
mouthful of sand
as their guts began to fill
with time.

they were nothing
but an hourglass.

and they knew
that very well.

〔end of chapter two 〕