We're Getting There // A.I

Chapter 5 // The Sacred Feminine

May 1 : 195 days till due

"But why does twins have to be a bad thing?" Jamie asks, sitting on my counter while I make us cookies.

"Because he didn't even want one baby, now there's two!" I explain, throwing blobs of cookie dough down angrily on the baking tray.

I told my mom a couple days ago over the phone and she almost hung up on me. I had to convince her not to tell the rest of my family, because I need to tell Michael, my Dad, and my other siblings myself.

I have been avoiding Ashton again. He called a couple of times but then stopped when he realised I was obviously not talking to him. It's been almost a month since we've spoken for more than a minute, and I'm having serious withdrawals.

I miss having him around. He made me happy. He brought me groceries. He kissed my neck. He cuddled me. God, he was a great cuddler. I almost wish Ashton would call me or come over, just so I know he still cared.

A little evil part of my brain is telling me Ashton is probably glad for some distance. Maybe he'll stay gone, then he won't have to deal with his one night stand and the babies he didn't want in the first place.

Jesus Christ, two babies. That I haven't even told him about.

All I have is Jamie now, plus the security of Calum who's always at work and the occasional call from Michael who is currently in LA on a mini-cation.

"Look," Jamie says, hopping off the counter and grabbing a handful of cookie dough, popping it in her mouth. "You're obviously hung up on Asher -"

"Ashton" I correct.

"Ashton, whatever. What you need to do is move on! Be a single mom, or find another guy to replace your crappy, hot, baby daddy" she suggests, ending with a shrug.

I make a face and smack her with a wooden spoon.

"No!" I say, rejecting her idea completely and immediately.

"Why not!"

"Even if someone liked me, which would be a goddamn miracle, they're not gonna like the two little people growing inside me, Jamie!" And then I turn and mumble something into my shoulder.

"What was that?" She asks, grabbing my arm and turning me around.

"I said I don't really wanna move on anyway" I mutter, my cheeks flaming up. I feel pretty pathetic, still hung up on Ashton, but when the guy you like is 6', good-looking, charming, and happens to be the father of your children, it's hard to move on.

"Okay, let's pretend you're not pregnant, and Ashby doesn't exist," Jamie says, and I don't even bother correcting her. "Who would you make a move on."

"No one" I snap. The idea of no Ashton makes me angry.

"What guy in your life is cute enough for you to ever consider dating?" She asks, rephrasing her question.

My mind jumps to Doctor Hemmings. I wince. Someone else. Who else could I say? I don't really know that many people, I'm from the suburbs. Who's a cute guy that's not Ashton or my doctor?

"This guy I work with" I say as casually as I can. "Calum."

"Get up his picture on Facebook and I'll put these in the oven" she says, picking up the baking tray of cookie blobs and looking at me expectantly.

"Um, uh" I say, getting my phone out my pocket and blinking a lot as I search up Calum. "Yeah, here you go."

Jamie closes the oven that contain cookies and turns it on before grabbing my phone and flicking through the photos.