A Deduction in Love - A Sherlock/OC Fanfic

Chapter 15

Just a filler!!
Sorry if it's a bit boring lol!!
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My heart was still racing as I opened the door of my flat, and I was just about to slam it shut and lean against it like the girls you see in the movies, when I realised Alan was sat on the couch smiling at me!

'Babe! Oh god it's so good to see you!' Alan said, he had picked up a slight American accent and I cringed a little inside.

'Hey, sorry about being late, new job, you know how it is.' I said taking my shoes off and walking over to the couch.

'Oh god yeah, work is so hectic for me right now, so much to do, soooo many people to see while I'm hear, so I'm not around much, anyhow...' He continued on about his job, he didn't even kiss me hello or hug me, didn't even ask how my day was.
God what was I doing.

This wasn't adventure, this wasn't exciting, this wasn't being in love.

I had turned into a creature of comfort, Alan was the safe zone and I was afraid to come out of it.

If you ever wanted anything more. His words trailed over and over again in my head. Of course I wanted more but how do I move out of the safe zone?

I looked at Alan, he was still droning on, looking at the TV guide while doing it. I felt the rage bubble up inside me. This wasn't a relationship, it was a convenient safety net and I needed to escape.

'Alan we need to talk,' and that's when he looked up and acknowledged me as a human person and not just as a giant ear.

'What is this?' The classic question to get the ball rolling, ease him in gently. He laughed.

'Urm, what do you mean El, you're my girlfriend.' God he had become so annoying with that American twang.

'I feel like I don't know you anymore, you changed so much and I just don't know if I can do this.' I looked down at my fumbling hands not wanting to look him in the eye, I hate confrontation.

'Oh,' he said plainly.

'I mean you never ask me about what's going on in my life anymore, never show any interest in me, there's no sex whatsoever, it's just boring.'

'Well I do live in America, kind of hard isn't it?' He said taking on some kind of victim role.

'What hard to notice me as a human being? As a person with their own life?' My voice became harsher now.

'So you don't want to be with me? Is that it? Am I too far away, can you not just commit to a long term relationship? Alan said, his voice started cracking. The last thing I need is for him to be crying on me.

'I think it's for the best Alan, there's nothing really here anymore-' he cut me off.

'So What you're just going to throw me out over Christmas? What am I supposed to tell my mother? It will be so embarrassing!'

Now I could feel the anger at my finger tips.

'Embarrassing for you! Oh my god you are so self absorbed! It's embarrassing when you're own boyfriend doesn't take an interest in anything that you do anymore, like how can you see that this isn't going to work.'

'You're the selfish one Ellen, I just can't believe you think this is the right time. Maybe we should spend Christmas apart, then see how we feel after the holidays?' He started to get up, he didn't even let me answer when he said, 'I'll get my stuff, I'll crash at my mums.' He wondered off like a wounded puppy leaving me bewildered that he thought that there was something there in the relationship. America had made him delusional.

He left without a goodbye, instead he said, I'll text you when you feel better. Better about what? God he was so infuriating.
I slumped back staring aimlessly at the tv, fiddling with the corner of a cushion, still trying to get over the stupidity of the guy I used to date. Then my mind led to Sherlock.

If you ever wanted more.

God I did want more, I wanted everything, everything I had gone without when I was with Alan.

I wanted to be loved, just like Sherlock wanted to be loved.

I wanted him.