The Dark Quest

5: I've Always Loved You

5.

It's been two weeks since I left Hannah's house, my family's house. After I left, I took a red eye back to Half Moon Bay. There was a storm coming. The ominous clouds were a deep black, the flashes of lightning disappeared in a heartbeat. Almost the way Harrison appeared to me. I was inches away from him, but I left. If I could have gotten up and hugged him... One magical hug to escape my troubles. Unfortunately, I am not living a Disney movie, and neither is Harrison. Or is my daughter. I don't even know her name. Does she know mine? She had my eyes, and her mother's hair. God, I screwed everything up.
That was two weeks ago, I'm back in Miami now. The best years of my life were here, like a spawning fish, I'm returning to my true home. I'm renting out an apartment on the beachside, at the moment I'm cooking up some steak and I bought some beer at the market.
"Got any for me?"
I let out a deep sigh of relief.
"I thought this might bring you here, Deb."
We laugh together for a good while, a calm before the storm. Suddenly we both stop, I know I have to tell her. I have to tell her how I feel, how I've felt for so long.
"Deb, I'm not very good at this, I've never done it before, but I need to now."
"Dex you're scaring me... What is it...?"
She is staring into me with her big green eyes, concern washed all over her face.
"Well, you know, I used to believe that I had no feelings, I thought it made me untouchable. I know now that was my greatest weakness. Something inside me was altered though. It wasn't Rita, or Lumen, or Hannah. It was you. It's always been you Deb. I.. I love you."
"Dexter.. I, I've always loved you, it's always been fuzzy in how I love you, but I do. I always will. I-"
I cut her off as I lean in and embrace her like it's the last time I ever will. I can't feel her physically, but I can emotionally, it's not all in my head. After so many years, I have no words to describe how perfect it is. Her arms are wrapped around me, her head nestled in my shoulder. I keep holding tighter and tighter. I never want to let her go.
I loosen my arms a bit, and we pull our heads back so our gazes meet each other. Sitting on the couch, our arms are still wrapped around one another, as tight as a Christmas package.
"You know... this can never truly be real.. I am here, but I'm also not. It's-"
"Can you feel it?" I ask.
"Yes, of course, it's fucking perfect but-"
"You're right. It is perfect."
She stares at me again, head tilted sideways, mouth slightly open. Closing her eyes she leans in and kisses me. My body is so close to hers. Just because it is happening in my head does not mean it isn't real. The emotion, the feeling, it's all here. This feeling makes all of my suffering worth it.
Our kiss ends, and we are once again sitting there. Except it's all changed now. It's changed for the better.
"Deb, I'm not giving up on my family."
"I knew you wouldn't, your heart is too pure."
"Will you stay with me?"
"Until the end."