Diabetic

Percpective

          I know every human being struggles by how people look at them. Their image. The vibe they give off or whatever. Some people know exactly how they're seen. Others have a false image.... and a false hope. With me.... I don't have a clue. How do people see me as a person? My ideas, my values, my personality? And even more.... How do people see me as a diabetic?

     I can never know how others look at diabetics. I can guess, but I will never know because I am not normal. Even when I look at other diabetics, I see them differently then others would because I am going through what they are.

     Do they see me as a sick kid and feel bad for me? Or an alien and are scared? Intimidated? Worried? Maybe even grateful? Maybe seeing what I have to go through makes them appreciate what they have? Who knows, everyone sees things differently. 

   Notes

     At the camp I just got back from, we could get notes of encouragement from other campers. I had quite a few of those about me being diabetic.

     "I hope you stay strong during your struggles with your disease" It's a disability. Diseases can be fixed. "You give me the strength to keep strong because I know at least i'm not diabetic" Gee, thanks. "I know it's hard but don't give up. God made you sick for a reason." Well what's the reason? That's what I struggle with. Does He want me to help other diabetics? Work in medicine? I may never know. Oh, and I'm not sick.

   Comparison

     Lots of the time I hear people comparing having Diabetes to having a different sickness. Sometimes not even being sick! A friend of mine had cancer when she was younger. Once she said to me, "Cancer is hard, it's a great fight. But I overcame that. I moved on and I don't have to deal with it anymore. But with you, you can never beat it. You have to deal with this for the rest of your life. That's what makes diabetes hard."

     I'm not saying that Diabetes is harder then Cancer. Cancer is horrible and terrible. And frankly, I don't exactly agree with what she told me. But it is a point of view that I respect and should be considered. As all opinions are.

  Others like you

     It's nice to know that everyone around you will know what you're saying whenever you open your mouth. Like in band. Or at camp, which I just so happen to have gotten back from a bit ago! I loved not having to say the watered down version of what I mean when I'm talking about my diabetes. So instead of having to say, "Oh, I'm just taking my medicine" I can just flat out say, "Oh, my blood sugar is high, so I'm taking two extra units to bring it down. Plus I need to bolus for that 30 carb snack I just ate so I don't go high again.". The people around me know what I'm saying! Like bolus! And Unit! and Site! It's comforting to be around your own kind, no matter what it is they have in common with you.

     But again, I know what they are going through, so I can't see them as normal people do. When I'm looking at other diabetics, I think, "They're just diabetic, no big deal." And some normal people may think that too, even they haven't gone through the pain and emotions that the diabetic has.

   The Unaware

     It is horrible to use your diabetes to your advantage, even though we all have done it at least once. I understand that sometimes you are just low and need to sit out. It's when you do it to often when your blood sugar is perfectly normal is the problem. That's when you're taking the person in charge's unawareness towards diabetes against them. If the person doesn't know the signs of a low blood sugar, sure, it's easy to just lie and sit down. But don't do this. Please. I don't want to be a bad influence!