I Used To

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I used to be loud,
now I am silent.
I used to be pretty,
now I am ugly.
I used to be blonde,
now my hair is black.
I used to be outgoing,
now I stay in.
I used to be happy,
now I am tired.
I used to make jokes,
now I make tears.
I used to love,
now I just hate.
I used to like food,
now I like hospitals.
I used to cut paper,
now I cut myself.
I used to listen to panic,
now I have panic attacks.
I used to have dreams,
now I have ptsd.
I used to feel sad sometimes,
now I just feel nothing.
I used to pray at night,
now I can't sleep.
I used to draw with color,
now I just shade.
I used to like the rain,
now it makes me cry.
I used to love my mom,
now she's not around.
I used to go on diets,
now I throw up everything.
All the things that I used to do I can do no more.

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