Chapter Seven - It's A Dark Day

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It's a dark day outside in the yard.

It's a cold day, but that's our reward.

There's a girl, I see every day,

Knows who I am, has nothing to say.

- "It's A Dark Day", Reverend Horton Heat

......

Sunlight.

The soft, shy sun rays peeked through the morning cloudy sky, shining into my bedroom's window and into my eyes. As usual, the chorus of sirens, horns, and the footsteps of civilians hit my ears. I sat up slowly, taking in the contents of my familiar surroundings. My Adidas joggers were thrown in the corner, with my red t-shirt and black Champion hoodie on top of the pile. My hoodie had grass stains on the sleeves, and with just one look at the stains caused crisp memories took hold of my head again.

It was unreal to think of what had just occurred just a few hours ago. Bella and I driving down the highway, her fingers laced with mine. The curves and planes of Bella's body as she bravely took off running into the lake, only wearing that fucking underwear. Bella and I splashing each other, dunking each other under the thick water. Bella talking about her painful, traumatic past. Bella reaching for me, exhaling only one word: "Please." Her beautiful, full lips moved with mine in a waltz, following my every step with almost rehearsed perfection, and her hands floated over my chest, my arms, my shoulders. Her legs tightened around me. Our breathing chaotically mixed together, so we couldn't tell where hers ended and mine began.

After we were done lying on the grass of the lake, Bella was thoughtfully quiet on our way back to the car. She was still quiet on the ride home, leaning her head against the window and letting her eyes drift closed. I could feel the panic rising in my chest, the silence between us only masked by Childish Gambino. Was she regretting it? Fuck.

I stared at my phone, quiet except for a mail notification and some stupid meme from Louis. Should I call her? Text her? Send her a gift basket with an "I'm Sorry For Making Out With You" card?

Vince trotted into bed with me, carrying his favorite hot dog squeaky toy. He nosed it towards me with a soft snort, almost as if he knew I was upset. "Good boy," I murmured, kissing his head.

Suddenly, a bleep sounded, signaling a new text. I dove for my phone like a hawk swiping up prey. My heart swung into my throat when I read the name.

Liam - I'm sorry for doing what I did. I shouldn't have. You're one of the kindest, most genuine people I've ever met. Dunno what my deal was. You just looked at me and I just... couldn't help myself, you know? We had agreed on just friends but you're making it so hard. I don't know if I can ever kiss you again, Liam. Much as it kills me. When I did, I forgot about everything. Forgot about all the hell I've been through. I forgot my name when your lips met mine. Not sure if you felt the same as me, but I can't stop thinking about you. There, I said it. I'm sorry, but I can't do this. I can't hurt you. We should quit while we're ahead. - Bella

My eyes swept over the text four times before it really sunk in. She didn't want to see more anymore.

I'd crossed a line.

"Fuck," I whispered aloud. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. But I'd asked her before I kissed her. I did, and she said yes. I got consent. I shouldn't have asked in the first place. I knew she didn't want to rush.

Nice fucking job, Liam.

I immediately dialed her contact and held the phone to my ear, gripping it so hard it almost felt like the thing would crumble. I closed my eyes, the rings reverberating hollowly through my swimming head.

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