Unexpectedly [On Hold]

11. Slowly

{11}
As I stood infront of my mirror drying my hair, I was thinking about what is going to happen today. I just want this to over with. Nagsuot ako ng ripped jeans and a black v-neck shirt and paired it with a low cut black converse, yeah I love the color black hahaha

Bumaba na ako at kinuha ang susi ng sasakyan ng nanay ko when

What do you think you’re doing? Tanong ni Al

Borrowing mom’s car at naglakad na akong papunta sa pintuan

No, ihahatid kita baka takasan mo ang appointment mo with your doctor

Oh wow wala ka na palang tiwala sakin Al. tinaasan niya ako ng kilay

I trust you Ava it’s just that you suck at driving baka maaksidente ka pa. sarcastic ang boses niya

Pinalo ko siya sa likod kasi I admit I suck at driving but still I just crashed one car okay maybe two cars pero matagal na yun  magaling na akong mag drive.

K fine sagot ko na lang at ibinaba ang susi. Hinatid niya ako sa clinic and there I was once again in the place with him.  Iniwan ulit ako ni Al

So ayun here I am again with Doc. Kylie and the dreadful Kiefer, sobra daw makatingin itong si Kiefer na ito Diyos ko nagpapawis na kamay ko.

I think he still thinks that I am lying about my condition but hell no I am not a liar and why would I lie abut something like this anyway?

Avarie, before we start I need you to know that you can say stop if you can’t handle it anymore. Tumango na lang ako. I want you to think of a safe word

Safe word?

Yeah like we just can’t choose stop like everybody does maybe you have a word in mind?

Nag iisip ako ng word then all of a sudden

How bout curry? And we both looked at Kiefer

Curry? Bakit mo naman yun naisip Kie? Pagtataka ni Doc

I just did and he smirked

Would you want curry as your safe word Avarie?

I think I’m gonna settle with red

Now that its settled let’s start shock therapy, Avarie I want you to look at Kiefer in the eyes and just try to calm down, breathe slowly

Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago ko sundin ang pinapagawa ni Doc, slowly I faced Kiefer and looked him dead in the eye at doon ko napansin ang mga itim niyang mga mata, I have to admit he looks good

Breathe slowly Avarie, he’s not gonna hurt you

While I look at his eyes I start to see my reflection and I felt like my breathing is starting to get normal, I thought it was gonna be fine but then my breathing started to go faster and faster , I couldn’t see myself anymore in Kiefer’s eyes, I’m starting to see him

RED!!!!

Binigyan ako ni doc ng brown paper bag and she started rubbing my back. Breathe slowly walang mananakit sayo dito.

Kie step out for a minute
Hinarap ako ni doc and she started writing something while she looks at me she writes again.

How do you feel?

I'm doing fine

Fine is not a feeling, I don’t like that word

I’m not okay, why did it have to be me? Of all the girls in the world bakit ako pa? may nagawa ba akong masama? Was I not good in my past life for this to happen to me?