"When you get a new heart, will I still be in there?" She says, barely a whisper. "Will I still be in that heart?"
"You're not just in my heart," Jeongguk replies truthfully. "You're in the blood flowing through my veins, you're in my mind, you're u...
"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up."
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Yerim's breath comes in ragged, shallow gasps. The foul smell of bile fills her nostrils as she's bent over the bathroom sink, trying so hard not to look down at the mess she's made. Keeping her eyes on her own pale reflection in the mirror, she turns on the tap and let's the water flow down long enough to drain the sink of the remnants of her undigested food.
It's hard knowing your expiration date. It's like having a gun pointed at your head and being told not to let your heart beat. But what's happened has happened. It can't be reversed, it's only inevitable.
All she has left to pray for is time.
Dragging her tired feet out of the bathroom, she eyes the piece of chicken floss bun on the nightstand beside her hospital bed. It's half eaten before Yerim had felt the lump growing in her throat. It's like she's choking, but she's not. She knows she's not. Her throat just isn't willing to accept any food.
She picks up the bun and tosses it into the trash can without sparing a second's thought. And then she plops down on the bed with a sigh. She stares at the wall blankly for awhile. Maybe a minute. Maybe two. Maybe three. And then a sudden face pops up into her mind, interrupting her flood of thoughts.
She reluctantly pulls the drawer of her nightstand open and takes out the photo frame she's hidden inside. She traces her fingers slowly across the two figures inside of the frame. There she is, as young and as bright as ever; as healthy as ever; with her rosy lips and lively cheeks. The man beside her is as dashing as the one she's always imagined her prince Prince Charming to be; hair styled up neatly and a black suit enveloping his beautiful figure.
Her heart clenches and her fingers squeeze tighter on the frame. It's hard trying to forget something that once meant the world to you.
There's a knock on the door and Yerim looks up to see her nurse calling her for her chemotherapy session. She places the frame faced down on the nightstand and walks out behind the nurse.
The chemotherapy session is as boring as always. She never liked sitting still for a few hours with nothing to do at all. The doctor briefs her on her current condition; says that the cancer is growing slightly and that if it shows no signs of slowing down, she's going to have to go for another operation.
"Cancer is a bitch," Yerim mutters Jeongguk's exact words as she steps out of the chemotherapy room after her session is over. She runs a finger through her hair to comb it, then heads back towards the direction of her room.
She's contemplating between laying in bed all day to rest or to call Jeongguk out to paint somewhere. A headache begins to grow and she groans to herself in irritation, rubbing her temples. When she reaches her room, she's about to slide the door open when she senses movement from the inside of the room. Peeping through the tiny window on the door, her heart skipped a beat.
